No Ordinary Love
by Time.Tide
Summary: We know how their story ends, but how did it begin? A tale of love amidst a backdrop of war. RL/NT. This story begins at the end of OOTP.
1. Chapter 1

No Ordinary Love

**No Ordinary Love**

**By Time and Tide**

**A/N: **This story begins at the end of OOTP. We will be following canon for now, but reserve the right to change our collective minds. (This chapter was written by Time.)

**Chapter One: Internal Dialogue**

Remus wasn't going to miss the place.

The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix was changing locations, and that suited the former professor fine. Grimmauld Place reminded him too much of Sirius, and what had happened to him. Nobody knew who the rightful owner of the place was now, so they had to get out as soon as possible. If the property now belonged to Bellatrix or Narcissa, they would be very unwelcome guests.

Dumbledore had called them all in for an emergency meeting to discuss what they would be doing next. Hogwarts seemed to be the logical choice for their new base of operations, especially since school was now out for the summer. By September, they would hopefully have a permanent place to meet.

None of this meant very much to Remus at the moment. All he could think of was that his last remaining close friend was gone. He was now the last of the Marauders. Pettigrew was still alive, but he no longer counted. He was also being faced with the reality of being homeless. He had been living at Grimmauld Place with Sirius for a year now. With all of the anti-werewolf legislation that had been passed of late, his potential for finding employment was desperately slim. Arthur and Molly had offered him space with them, but Remus had been hesitant to accept, as it seemed like charity to him. Besides that, Dumbledore had mentioned that he might have something for him to do over the summer.

He needed to get out of there. He would spend the night the same way he had been spending them since that night at the Ministry. He would Apparate to the Hog's Head and drink until he passed out. Remus had known Aberforth since the first war and knew he would provide him with a room to sleep it off in. It wasn't the healthiest way of dealing with his pain, but it was the best he could do right now.

Remus was just finishing up double-checking to make sure he had all of his belongings packed up when he heard the sound of someone crying. The sound seemed to be coming from the sitting room across the hall from his bedroom. Admittedly, it wasn't such an unusual sound of late. Since the battle, he'd heard Molly crying after nearly every Order meeting. This didn't sound like her, though. The crying sounded like it was coming from someone younger, almost child-like. Remus immediately thought of Ginny, but knew that she wasn't there. The logical side of his brain told him to ignore it. He was having a hard enough time keeping his own demons at bay, let alone trying to help someone else battle theirs. And yet, his emotive side, the side which seemed to bring him nothing but pain, forced him to cross the hall and knock upon the closed door. The voice he heard in response surprised him.

"Can't a person find some bleeding privacy in this place? Sixty fucking rooms and I can't find one to be alone in?"

Remus was double shocked. For one, Tonks had always seemed most at home amongst a crowd. She was always the first to volunteer for group assignments, such as the one to bring Harry here before term started. The idea that she would want to avoid people seemed alien to him. Even more shocking was the thought of her crying. Tonks was always the one to play the clown, to provide the comic relief that the serious times so often called for. Nothing ever seemed to faze the light-hearted Auror. What could be so horrible that it had affected even her? Feeling very much wrong footed, Remus wanted nothing more than to be on his way.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Nymphadora. I'll leave you alone."

Remus had only taken a single step before a still quavering female voice called back to him.

"Quit calling me that and get in here!"

Remus frowned. He really didn't want to talk to anyone right now, especially a crying young woman. He could pretend that he hadn't heard her, but he knew she was a lot smarter than a lot of the others gave her credit for. She'd know he had ignored her, and he couldn't do that. So, instead, he took a deep cleansing breath, squared his shoulders, and opened the door.

The sight before him provided yet another shock for him. The form Tonks had chosen was that of a very attractive young woman. She had short brown hair that framed her heart shaped face nicely. Her eyes, perhaps because of their wetness, sparkled a dazzling amethyst color that seemed to lighten the otherwise gloomy room. The sight of those mesmerizing eyes, her Cupid's bow pink lips, and her young athletic body combined to nearly cause the former Marauder to forget the true purpose he had come in for.

"I'm sorry, Tonks."

Tonks wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands.

"You've said that, already."

Remus fought back a laugh. He could only imagine how pathetic he looked in attempting to console someone right now.

"I know. It's all I can think of saying."

Tonks sniffed and gave a nervous little laugh.

"I must look a treat, eh? Me, the great Auror, crying like a stupid arse."

Remus frowned and moved to look directly at her.

"You are _not_ stupid, nor an arse! All of us are grieving, Tonks. You think you should be embarrassed? You should feel grateful, grateful that you knew him. I feel the same way, Tonks. I miss him like a brother, like I miss James. They were my family, and I've lost them, just like you have."

Remus turned away to hide the tears in his eyes and the trembling of his chin. For a long moment, a heavy silence hung in the room between them.

"Tell me about him."

Remus thought he might have imagined the voice he heard it was so quiet.

"What?"

"Tell me about him, about Sirius."

Remus did not turn to face her.

"What do you mean?"

With his heightened senses, Remus felt more than heard Tonks getting off the sofa to stand close behind him.

"My mum was disowned for marrying my dad, remember? Sirius kept in touch with us, but I rarely got to spend time with him. I remember having a crush on him, though." She let out a tinkering of a laugh. "Girls always like a rebel, you know?"

Remus couldn't help but laugh. Sirius and James had always seemed to do well with the ladies. The thought of Lily, however, caused his laughter to quickly cease. Turning to see her more hopeful than sad, he walked over and sat down upon the green suede couch.

"What do you want to know?"

Over the next two hours, Remus found himself answering a seemingly endless amount of questions. The tales of Sirius' antics with his fellow Marauders had the both of them laughing and swiping at their eyes all over again, this time due to tears of mirth. Later, the story of his last few months holed up in the despised home of his youth caused the two to sober up once again. In the end, both felt as if they knew the man who had been Sirius Black much better. As Remus got up to take his leave, the sound of a choked sob caused him to turn back and look at Tonks.

She had begun to cry again. Remus' heart sunk. He had intended to console her, but now she was weeping harder than ever. Feeling like an utter failure, Remus bent down to kneel in front of her.

"Tonks, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to."

Tonks shook her head as Remus offered her a conjured handkerchief.

"Would you quit apologizing for everything? You're as bad as my last boyfriend. I'm not crying over anything you've done, I'm crying over what I've done. Or what I failed to do, really."

Remus didn't understand. What had she failed to do? Was she somehow feeling guilty about not knowing Sirius better?

"Tonks, you couldn't help-"

A now enraged Tonks suddenly cut off his words.

"It was my fault! I should have been able to handle the Death Eaters I had been dueling with faster. I should have been the one to face Bellatrix to the death, not Sirius. He was there to save Harry. He _loved_ Harry, I know he did. They should be together now, just like Sirius always wanted. I should have been the one to fall into that archway, not him. He had Harry… and I've got nobody."

Remus felt his own eyes sting as Tonks burst into renewed crying. He had been so wrapped up in blaming himself that he had never stopped to believe that someone else might. He considered how Harry must be feeling and cursed himself for his selfishness. He had allowed, not for the first time, to let his own self-loathing stand in the way of doing what was right. He might be unable to help Harry at the present, but he would be damned if he didn't do what he could for Tonks.

"Tonks, it wasn't your fault."

Tonks made to argue but was cut off.

"No, listen to me for a moment. I'm as much to blame as you are. I was at the Ministry, too. Do you think that Sirius would have stayed behind? Never. Keeping him imprisoned here was no less cruel than placing him in Azkaban. Sirius would have freely given his life for Harry, or for any of the rest of us. That's the kind of man he was, and to do otherwise would have been unthinkable for him."

Saying this, Remus felt as if he was attempting to assure himself of these things as much as he was Tonks.

After another long silence, Tonks raised her still tear-stained face to look back at Remus.

"In truth, neither of us is to blame. It was Bellatrix and Voldemort. They killed him."

Remus was slightly taken aback at Tonks' use of the Dark Lord's name. It made it even clearer to him that her resolve to fight had not been dissuaded by the events that had recently taken place. A greater respect for the young woman caused Remus to see her in a whole new light. Despite her youth, Tonks was a formidable ally in their fight against the oncoming darkness. At the thought of that darkness, Remus took notice of the failing light filtering in through the thin and dingy window curtains. He had failed to notice the passage of time that had occurred while they had been talking. Looking at the coach clock on the mantle, Remus noted that it was now approaching evening.

"It's getting late. I was planning on leaving tonight, but I don't have to. I think we've still got a few days until ownership passes. Are you hungry? I can open up a nifty can of baked beans. You could even stay over if you'd like. There are eight bedrooms here. We can talk some more if you want, too."

Tonks gave him one of her much more typical grins and moved towards the door.

"Thanks for the offer but, I better be getting home. Dad still waits up for her like I'm some sort of spotty teenager. I hope he'll still recognize me. I don't show my real appearance very often; he's used to seeing me with neon hair now. I guess I just didn't feel much like changing today."

Remus nodded in understanding. She would naturally want to go home to her family. At the same time, he couldn't help feeling disappointed. Being around her for the last few hours had made him feel better about himself. He couldn't quite explain why.

"All right, then. Be careful going home. And remember, if you'd like to talk, I'll be happy to listen."

Tonks' smile grew wider as she enveloped him in a surprisingly strong embrace.

"Thank you, Remus. I feel a lot better. I'll see you at the next Order meeting. If I need anything before then, I'll let you know. The offer goes both ways, you know. If you need to talk, I'm available. I'd better go now. If dad knew I was alone in a house with a single man, he'd do his nut."

Remus laughed a bit awkwardly as Tonks released him from her embrace.

"Thanks again, Remus. You're a good man."

Tonks then stole away any chance of Remus responding by leaning forward and placing a kiss on his scarred right cheek. Then, with a very girlish sounding giggle at the sight of his dazed look, she began to make her way down the steps towards the front door.

The sound of Tonks tripping, swearing loudly, and then banging shut the front door woke the painting of Sirius' mother. Her shouts and curses rang out through the entirety of the house, but Remus failed to notice it. He would have failed to notice anything at the moment. All of his senses were focused on one particular spot, the place upon his cheek where Tonks' lips had been moments before.


	2. Chapter 2

**No Ordinary Love**

By Time and Tide

_A/N: This chapter was written by Tide._

**Chapter Two: Shameless**

Sirius wouldn't want her to mourn, Tonks decided firmly as she reached her bedroom above the garage of her parents' house and kicked off her trainers.

On the way from Grimmauld Place, she had stopped at a muggle liquor store and bought a pack of twenty-four 12 ounce bottles of Oatmeal Stout. As soon as she peeled her tight black jeans from her frame, Tonks popped open a bottle and drowned a little less than half of the alcoholic drink in one go.

After putting the rest of the bottles away in her mini bar, Tonks cast a silencing charm about the room, turned her stereo on, then up, and raised her drink into the air.

"To Sirius, the bravest and most loyal wizard I've ever met!" Tonks exclaimed, staring up at her roof. "I will miss you, Cousin, and I hope to see you again some day," she said, this time quietly.

She looked down at her drink, and promptly burst into tears.

Plopping down on her bed with nothing on but her Batman knickers and gauzy white shirt, Tonks drank the last of her drink, curled up into a ball, and fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning, Tonks decided to do anything and everything to get her mind off of Sirius. She took a shower and got dressed while listening to a new wizard rock group called Stroke of Midnight, and afterward, Tonks focused on finding her leather jacket in the messy bedroom she currently occupied.

"I need to find a new place, damn it," Tonks muttered under her breath, wildly throwing articles of clothing over her shoulders.

Giving up with a frustrated grunt after nearly fifteen minutes, Tonks slipped into her boots and made her way out the door while cramming her Auror necessities into her magically enlarged pant pockets. But before she could even make it half way down the stairs, she bumped straight into Remus Lupin.

"Oh! Sorry!" There was a pause, and then Tonks realized who she was standing in front of and exactly where at. "What are you doing at my house?"

Remus smiled pleasantly, and Tonks found herself grinning back. "Good morning to you, too, Tonks."

Tonks shrugged sheepishly. "Well, what did you expect…?" she murmured.

Remus shook his head and thrust out his arm. "You forgot this at Headquarters," he stated.

Tonks beamed and bounced up onto the balls of her feet, teetering on the stair steps. "My jacket! And my lighter! I was looking for those!" She took the heavy jacket and put it on over her thin, striped top immediately, feeling much more comfortable now that it was on.

Stuffing the lighter in her jacket pocket and starting to transfer all of her jean pocket items into it as well, Tonks said, "You know, I would've found it _eventually_."

Remus smirked. "Yeah, right, eventually meaning a year from now?" he teased.

Tonks nudged Remus and laughed. They started to descend the rest of the stairs.

"So, did you find a place to stay yet?" Tonks asked, feeling curious.

"No, I was going to start looking for a flat somewhere in Diagon Alley today, and maybe I'll try Hogsmeade tomorrow morning."

"Merlin, I wish I could just get up and leave sometimes."

"Why can't you?"

Tonks paused at the foot of the stairs, and turned to look at Remus. He stood on the last step, towering above her. Tonks pondered his question while she studied the stubble on his chin and his thin and soft-looking lips.

_Why can't I leave?_ Tonks thought. _Well, for one thing, the ministry is within walking distance._ She voiced this, only for Remus to respond with, "You know, you could always Apparate or Floo." Then, she thought, _I'll be close to my family in case of an emergency or something._ She told Remus this, too, and he laughed.

"A little too close, don't you think?"

Tonks nodded, rolling her eyes. "Touché," she muttered. "It's not that I don't like them—"

"You don't have to explain," Remus said. Tonks furrowed her eyebrows, and caught a spark of light in the werewolf's eyes. "I remember when James and Sirius were holed up in the Potters' house. It was a nightmare. Mr. Potter would always wait up for them if they went out to a party; it caused many arguments. They usually didn't return until three in the morning."

"Ha! I came home at about midnight last night, and I'm beyond surprised I didn't get the Inquisition on my arse." They laughed, and Tonks grabbed Remus's arm, pulling him down the last step and towards the driveway. "My father usually waits up. He sits in a chair by the window that looks out to my staircase." She pointed to it. "He probably fell asleep with his cheek smudged against the glass. He looks pretty ridiculous in the morning."

There was a crunch of gravel behind Remus, and he and Tonks swung around, wands at the ready. A man dressed in black slacks and a white button-down shirt stood before them, looking cool and composed. Tonks caught Remus's quizzical look as she lowered his wand hand.

"That's my dad," she said, nodding towards the unexpected visitor.

"Nymphadora," her father said, his tone reprimanding. He only called Tonks that when he was upset with her. "Care to explain what you're doing, bringing this man down from your flat?"

Tonks ignored her father's question. She was a grown woman! Even if she was doing things with Remus, it wasn't any of his business; it wasn't like Ted Tonks could _stop_ her.

"Daddy," Tonks said, sweet as could be. "I'd like you to meet Remus Lupin." Tonks still had her hand on Remus's arm, and pulled him forward to shake her dad's hand. "He's a friend of mine, from the Order. Remus, this is my embarrassing father, Ted Tonks."

"Embarrassing?!" Ted exclaimed, dropping Remus's hand abruptly. "I'm just bloody looking after you!"

"Well, I can take care of myself," Tonks huffed, crossing her arms in front of her and glaring at her father.

"You still haven't answered my question, Dora" Ted Tonks said after a few seconds of a staring competition.

Remus cleared his throat, and Tonks looked up at him, wondering why she liked how awkward he looked. _It's sweet,_ Tonks thought as Remus explained to her father that he was just bringing back her jacket from Headquarters. _It's like he's trying to get my dad's approval._

Ted listened to Remus's account and nodded. "That's good and fine," he said. Ted turned back to Tonks. "Don't let me see you bring a man down from your flat ever again, do you hear me, Nymphadora? You've done it twice already—"

"_I can make my own decisions—!_"

"And I will not allow it under my roof!

Tonks tried to respond again, only for her father to Apparate on the spot. Tonks let out a frustrated growl and turned on her heel, angrily stomping away, her hair switching from a mass of brown curls to spikes of fiery red.

"The _nerve_ of him, saying all of that stuff in front of you!"

"He was probably, you know, trying to scare me off," Remus said quietly.

His tone of voice stopped Tonks mid-rant. She turned towards him. "How come you aren't… _incensed_?"

"Because, I've been in this situation plenty of times, whether it be because my _then_ girlfriend's father didn't like the thought of his _then_ little girl dating me, a werewolf, or because he didn't like his _then_ little girl dating anyone at all." Remus shrugged. "It's nothing new."

Tonks could see it in her mind. A young Remus Lupin, standing straight and taking in all the harsh words and negativity, listening outside the door at his _then_ girlfriend's house. Did he stand up for himself? Or did he walk away? Tonks didn't know Remus well enough to know the answer, but she knew he had _always_ been a fighter.

And that was enough.

"You know," Tonks said, her heart beating wildly, "I really like you."

Tonks stared uncertainly at her reflection in the ladies lavatory of the Ministry of Magic. _So this is what the real Nymphadora looks like. _Mousy brown hair, dark brown eyes, boring. She looked like her father, but in girl form- except for the nose, of course. The nose was from the Blacks, snooty and upturned.

She wondered if Remus saw Nymphadora Tonks, as she was, and liked it, or if he saw Nymphadora Tonks as just some girl whom could be any girl he wanted.

Tonks sighed. It didn't matter. Remus had already seen her once before in her normal and plain state.

The reason why she was so insecure at the moment was because she and Remus were going to have a lunch date, and for every first date Tonks ever went on, she transformed back to Boring Nymphadora Tonks, to make sure the person knew what they were getting into.

Tonks looked down at her watch and gasped. _Fuck!_

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" she puffed as she ran out of the loo and towards the Atrium. When she got there no less than 3 minutes later, Tonks was devastated; the lines were so long at lunch time. She got behind the shortest queue and was out of the Ministry after five lengthy minutes of waiting.

Tonks spun out of the fireplace and into The Leaky Cauldron and dusted herself off. She looked around the crowded room and saw Remus Lupin in a corner booth, absentmindedly staring out of a nearby window as he swirled his butterbeer. Tonks made her way towards him, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Hello," Tonks said, smiling down at Remus.

He looked up, a little startled. "Hello," Remus said. He stood up abruptly and cleared his throat. "I didn't think you were going to make it."

Tonks heard a slight lack of confidence in his voice, and blushed when he waited for her to sit down before taking his seat again. _So chivalry isn't dead,_ Tonks thought, pressing her lips together to keep from grinning wildly as she settled in.

"How's the Auror Department going?" Remus asked conversationally.

"We're terribly busy at the time, but that much can be expected," Tonks replied after a pimply teenager took their orders. "The guides on elementary home and personal defense were owled today, Kingsley was finally reassigned for the Muggle Prime Minister's security, and now the Auror Department is trying to adjust to Rufus Scrimgeour and his attempt to replace Fudge."

"If he becomes Minister, he'll still be the Head of the Auror office?"

Tonks nodded her head. Just then, a cherry syrup and soda fell onto their table, along with a new butterbeer for Remus.

"Yum," Tonks said, taking a sip from a crazy straw. She took off her fingerless gloves and dipped two fingers into the iced drink. Remus looked at her quizzically.

"What?" Tonks asked after catching his stare. "There are two cherries at the bottom; it's my favorite part about the drink. Have you ever had one of these? They're brilliant."

Remus smiled. "I can't say that I have."

"Here," Tonks said after scooping out a yellow cherry. She slid her drink to him as she popped the cherry into her mouth. "Have a taste."

Remus did. His eyes lit up, and Tonks found herself incapable of looking away. "This is great," he said. "One question, though: why are the cherries yellow?"

It took Tonks a few seconds to realize Remus had asked her something; she was far too busy staring at his broad shoulders

"Oh," she gasped, shaking her head. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

Remus repeated the question, looking bemused.

"Oh," she said again. "They change the color every season. In the summer," she explained, "the colors of the cherries are charmed to be yellow, in autumn they're red, in the winter they are charmed blue, and in spring, they're charmed green." Tonks shrugged. "I guess they wanted to appeal more to children."

"And they appealed to you, of course," Remus said.

They both burst into laughter as their food flew over to their table. As soon as the plates landed, they dug in hungrily; Tonks was positively exhausted from the Auror paces she was put through that morning.

"What's tha' you're havin'?" Tonks asked Remus through a mouthful of pork chop and mashed potatoes. "Fish 'n chips—oh, sorry!"

Tonks blushed, embarrassed when some food flew out of her mouth.

_What're you thinking, Tonks! This is a date! Slow down! The food isn't going anywhere._

_But it's Remus. He'll understand._

"It's all right, Tonks," Remus said, laughing. Tonks was reassured, but became more subdued almost immediately.

"So," Tonks said after swallowing a smaller bite of food. "How was the house hunting?"

"It was mad," Remus said straight away, biting into another strip of fried fish. He scooped some mushy peas into his mouth before continuing. "Flats in Diagon Alley are pricey. After lunch, I'm going to head over to Muggle London and have a look in the paper, see what I can find."

"Didn't you say you wanted to check out Hogsmeade?"

"There's no way Hogsmeade is less expensive than Diagon Alley."

"True," Tonks said, her brain working overtime.

_What if I casually mention that I'm looking for a flat, too? Maybe he'll suggest moving in together._

_Yeah, right_, another part of Tonks thought. _There's no way Remus will be up for that; he's too old-fashioned._

"I've kind of decided to find a new place soon, too," Tonks said casually, hiding some pieces of broccoli under her mashed potatoes. "You know, with family being all close…" She trailed off.

"That'll be good for you," Remus replied to her revelation.

They finished their meal with small talk, and then the most dreaded part came up. Tonks bit her lip as the check flew over to their table. She snatched it out of the air before Remus could blink.

"Hey!" he protested.

"Now, now, Remus, _I_ asked _you_ to lunch," Tonks said.

"Yes, but I should pay," Remus said.

Tonks smiled in triumph. "Ha!" she declared. "You're sexist!"

Remus stared at her, flabbergasted. "No, I'm not! I have utmost respect for women trying to advance in fields men usually dominate."

"So, you think men dominate?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Then, let me pay."

Remus sat back in his chair, defeated but wearing the most amused smile. Tonks beamed.

"Well," Remus said on their way out of The Leaky Cauldron. "At least let me pay for dessert?"

"Deal," Tonks said.

_A/N: If you choose to review, you can have your pick of sharing a cherry syrup and soda with Tonks, or a lunch date with Remus, in which he'll pay the bill._


	3. Chapter 3

**No Ordinary Love**

**By Time and Tide**

**A/N: **This chapter was written by Time.

**Chapter Three: New Tricks For Old Dogs**

Remus Lupin was nervous, and he hated being nervous. With his heightened senses, he could smell a person sweating from across a room. Even the subtlest of scents were discernable to his sensitive nose. Thus, since he was the one currently perspiring, he wasn't being reminded of violets.

The only saving grace was that Tonks was wearing a good perfume. That helped give him something to focus on. In fact, he could even distinguish the different locations she had applied the perfume. It was Chanel, a very conventional choice for such an unconventional woman. The thought of this made Remus smile. In all likelihood, he decided, Andromeda was missing some perfume.

She had applied some behind both ears. Lily used to do that. She always claimed it drove James wild, not that he needed much prompting. Remus now understood what he meant. More distracting was the fact that he had also applied two more splashes to places Remus was trying very hard not to focus on. A bloke didn't need heightened senses to appreciate those.

Fortunately, the date had gone fairly well. Remus had managed to make her smile several times, and she, in return, had made a point of touching his arm a few times. Even though he'd been on the shelf for quite a while, Remus knew that any physical contact was an encouraging sign. With any luck, he might even get more in the future.

The thought of trusting in luck caused him to laugh. Since when had luck ever favored him before?

"Knut for your thoughts."

The sudden comment broke Remus out of his silent reverie.

"I'm sorry?"

"You should be. I was wondering what you were thinking about that amused you."

Remus blushed slightly at being caught out.

"I was just thinking about luck, or the lack thereof."

An unnaturally stern expression broke over Tonks' face.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but you won't be getting lucky with me. I don't put out on the first date."

Remus' heart skipped a few beats.

"Oh, god, no, I didn't mean it like that! I meant that I don't usually get lucky… I mean that I'm not usually a lucky person. I never thought for a moment you would put out… I mean that I would never think of you being like that, I promise."

The stern look on Tonks' face quickly dissolved into a much more familiar devilish grin.

"Ha, you're so easy. Thank you, though. Everyone else I've ever gone out with seemed to think that the date wasn't over until I was on my back. We always came to a compromise, though. They had to settle for being the one on their back. Of course, being unconscious and all, they rarely asked me for a second date."

Remus couldn't help but laugh. He had to admit, she had gotten him good. Still, the idea of getting a good thrashing from Tonks was pretty scary. She was certainly more than capable of doing it.

"Well, since I have no intention of making that same mistake, maybe we could, you know, do something again sometime?"

Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, I'm busy 'sometime'. Try to be more vague and noncommittal next time."

She had gotten him again. Remus would need to tighten up his game if he wanted to keep up with her.

"Very funny, Tonks. Have pity on me, will you? I'm rusty at all this stuff. How about dinner the next time we're both off duty at the same time?"

The grin on Tonks' face turned into a dazzling smile, reminding Remus that she was a very beautiful woman. Maybe, just maybe, his luck was changing after all.

"I'd like that. I'll let you know my Auror schedule when I get it. Since it'll be your turn to buy, I'll make sure I get the biggest steak on the menu. If you're a good boy, I'll even let you have a taste. I might even let you have some steak, too."

Before Remus was able to pick up on her little joke, Tonks leaned forward to placed a quick kiss at the corner of his lips. The action stunned Remus and caused Tonks to laugh. Watching her walk away, Remus suddenly realized what she had said and found himself blushing again. As the waiter cleared the table, Remus shook his head and sighed.

"I swear that girl is going to be the death of me."

Looking up from his task, the waiter followed Remus' gaze.

"Probably, but what a way to go."

Arriving back at Grimmauld, Remus immediately poured himself a generous snifter of Henry IV cognac. Now that he was getting a regular income, his tastes had vastly improved. Going from drinking milk stout out of a brown paper bag to sipping hundred year old cognac from a gold and silver bottle was quite a change, but he was finding that the transition was getting easier and easier.

The sublime liquid also made it easier for him to think clearly, and he certainly needed that. What exactly was he playing at with Tonks? What exactly was she playing at with him? Was she really interested in him, or was she just having a laugh? Either way, should he be going along with it?

Was she sexy? Yes. Could he trust her? Yes. Was he in need of female attention? Good god, yes. Was she Sirius' "baby" cousin? Unfortunately, also yes.

Therein lies the rub. Remus could still well remember Tonks when she was a gangly child running around trying to get Sirius' attention. Her mother, Andromeda, was one of the few members of his family that remained in contact with Sirius after his disowning. Sirius and James used to tease her unmercifully, but Remus had always been kind to her. Being a metamorphamagus, she was different from the others, just like him. Never in a million years would he have ever imagined that he would one day wish for her to return that kindness.

Speaking of his fellow Marauders, what would they think? James would be insufferable. Remus could hear him now…

" _Hey, Remus. So, did you have your girlfriend home by ten last night? It was a school night."_

"_First a werewolf, now a cradle robber."_

Sirius would be even worse. Tonks was one of the few relatives he gave a damn about. He'd play the big brother act for all it was worth. He could hear him, too…

"_Lay a finger on my baby cousin and I'll have to give you a silver enema, Lupin."_

"_Hands where I can see them, pedophile."_

Yeah, maybe those two being dead wasn't so bad after all.

The main question he had to answer was; should he pursue a relationship with her? What would the other Order members think? What about Harry and his friends? Would they still respect him? Would they now respect him more? What would be the safest option? Well, that would be to sit back and not say anything. Yes, that was safest. That would be the sensible thing to do. Being alone would be safe.

Remus Lupin was tired of being safe.

"Tonks? Are you home?"

"Remus! Fancy seeing your mug in my fireplace."

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have just popped in like this. Is it a bad time?"

"Nope, now is fine. I was just getting ready to pop in the shower. If you would have waited a few more minutes you might have gotten a free show."

Even surrounded by green flames, Remus' face glowed a bright red.

"Uh, yes, well, I wanted to ask if you had dinner plans for this coming Saturday?"

Tonks turned away to conceal the huge smile on her face.

"This Saturday? That's pretty short notice, Lupin. Seems to me like you're assuming I don't have a full social life of my own. I hope you aren't taking me for granted already."

At first, Remus was convinced he had thrust his foot in his mouth once again. He was just about to apologize when he noticed that Tonks was purposely avoiding his gaze. Knowing what he did about her now, he realized that she was having him on again. Well, two could play at this game.

"You're right, I shouldn't have imposed. I guess I'll just drop by the Three Broomsticks. Rosemerta's been after me for weeks to come by. I'm sure I could make an evening of it."

Tonks quickly turned around to face Remus. The large smile on her face had now been replaced by a look of shock and outrage.

"You better not be spending time with that old slag. Hagrid probably couldn't even hit bottom with that slut. That frustrated old hag has handled more wands than Olivander!"

Even as Tonks was ranting, she noticed that the head floating in her hearth was laughing hysterically. He had gotten her back. Perhaps Remus J. Lupin was a good match for her after all.

"Very funny, wolf-man. I'm sorry to disappoint your bit of fluff, but I'm accepting your kind offer of a date. Oh, and since it will be a 'real' date, you'll have to be on your best behavior. If you play your cards right, maybe you won't have to settle for damaged goods anymore. Impress me enough, and I might even consider going out with you again."

Remus wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes and smiled. Despite the multitude of scars on his face, Tonks' breath was still momentarily lost to her. Remus was still a very handsome man. Not that Tonks was unfamiliar with handsome men. She'd dated several. The difference with Lupin was that he didn't even realize he was handsome. For Tonks, this only made him more so.

"Saturday it is, then. We're both off, so why don't you come around to Grimmauld and I'll knock something up for us. Would Italian be all right?"

Tonks felt her heart flutter slightly. A handsome man that also knew how to cook, things just kept getting better and better.

"Italian would be lovely. What should I bring with me?"

"Just bring yourself. Sirius' parents were as snobby about their wine as they were about everything else. I've got enough bottles of Chateau Lafite to bankrupt Christie's. We could toast everyday of the year and still have enough left over to start on the next one."

Tonks grinned.

"Why, Mr. Lupin, I do believe you are attempting to corrupt me. I am appalled that you would try and entice a poor and innocent girl like myself. I do hope you aren't trying to seduce me."

Remus' already dark brown eyes became black.

"Would you like me to seduce you?"

The room Tonks was in wasn't at all cold, but the effect Remus' words had on her made it seem that way. Causing the young Auror to be unable to form coherent speech, Remus inwardly congratulated himself on getting better at giving as well as he got.

"Well, I'd better let you go. Dinner will be at seven, but you can come by whenever you want, really."

Managing a few steady breaths, Tonks attempted to play off her momentary lapse.

"Ahem, yes, seven would be fine. Should I dress for dinner?"

Remus grinned in a very Marauder-like way.

"If you want me to be able to concentrate on the food, I would say yes."

Ready this time, Tonks managed to return his flirtation with her own.

"I should hope you'd be able to focus on more that just the food, Remus. I can be just as appetizing as any meal, when I want to be."

Remus' mouth began to fill with saliva. He wasn't thinking about pasta, either.

"I'll look forward to it."

Tonks licked her full lips.

"You'd better."

Then, removing his head from the flames, Remus took in a long breath through his nose and blew it out slowly through his mouth. He now had things that needed to be done. For one, he would need to go down to the shops for groceries. Second, and currently more pressing, he needed a long shower.

A very cold one.

**A/N:** Stick around for the next chapter! And please, review!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Points

Tonks took a deep breath and gave herself the once over, peering at Grimmauld's glass door harder than any normal person should. From what she could see in her reflection, her long brown hair was pulled back pristinely and her dark brown eyes were framed brightly with pink eye shadow.

Tonks's brain flittered with worries: Was she dressed too formally? Was that sweat beading in her cleavage? Did Remus think he was getting a romp? Better yet, did _she_ want one?

Tonks bit her glossed lips and shut her eyes, reached forward and knocked. Remus answered the door a moment later, dressed in navy trousers and a fitted gray sweater.

"Hello," Tonks said, flashing a timid smile.

Remus grinned. "Hi."

They stood there, staring at one another for a full minute. Tonks thought about their back and forth flirtation earlier that week and shuddered slightly. Remus seemed to snap back to the present, mistaking the shiver.

"Sorry. Come in. It's kind of breezy tonight, yeah? Looks like rain." Remus ushered her in.

Again, they stared at one another, this time in the dimly lit foyer. Tonks couldn't muster up the courage to talk, she realized.

"C-can I take your coat?" Remus asked.

"Remus, I'm not wearing a coat."

"Right," he said.

_That's enough, Tonks_, she thought. _Get over yourself_.

Tonks took the plunge. "Here," she said, thrusting a paper bag at him.

"What's this?" he asked as she started towards the basement kitchen.

"I stopped by a Muggle bakery, one that my father is really fond of, and for good reason. That there is the best cheesecake you will ever have." Tonks paused at the kitchen door and inhaled deeply. "Mm, that smells good. What did you make? I'm _starving_."

She started down the small set of stairs, making sure to swing her hips lightly and not trip at the same time.

Remus told her what he'd prepared. "Well, there's Italian Caesar salad and Minestrone soup before the main course of chicken Marsala and fettuccini. I made caramel fondue, but—"

Tonks whirled around. "If you even _think_ of not eating it," she interrupted, "I will go Auror on your arse."

Remus laughed, hands held up in a surrendering sort of way. "All right, all right. I'm glad, though. I like a girl who eats."

"Thank Merlin," she said. "We'd already have problems if you didn't."

Tonks couldn't breathe. She was stuffed to capacity.

"Remus," Tonks said, inhaling with difficulty. "I don't think I'll be able to move from here."

From across the table, Remus had an amused look in his eye.

"You won't want the fondue, then, would you?" he smirked.

_One point to Remus._

Tonks groaned at the thought of more food. She pushed her plate of cheesecake away, towards him. "No, I wouldn't."

After Remus consumed the half-piece of dessert Tonks had offered him, she made a move to get up and help with the dishes, but Remus gently and easily pushed her back into her seat. The smirk was firmly in place again, and Tonks glared at him, even though she was smiling inwardly.

"Don't worry about this. I've got it—"

"But you cooked everything—!"

"—so you should definitely go upstairs and to the living room and relax." Tonks was about to interrupt when Remus said, "Unless you need help up the stairs?"

Her teeth clicked as she shut her mouth. Remus pressed his lips together, attempting not to laugh, she could tell, at her stunned expression.

_Two, Remus. Zero, Tonks._

Tonks stood, scooting her chair back gracefully, and raised her nose in the air. She grasped her glass of Pinot Grigio and turned towards the stairs.

"Fine," she huffed as she heard a chuckle escape from Remus. She looked at him over her shoulder and grinned when she saw where his eyes had lingered a second ago. "I'll be up in the drawing room, by the way. And just so you know," she said casually, "if you're ever going to kiss me, it better be tonight."

The look on his face was _priceless_. Tonks slowly ascended to the living room, gleefully containing a smirk as there was a clatter of plates hitting sink-bottom.

_Two, Remus. A million, Tonks._

Tonks had just settled into the plush couch in the drawing room when Remus walked in, slowly, wiping his damp hands against his trouser bottoms. The fireplace was lit, creating a soft glow around the entire room and providing enough warmth to make Tonks' toes thaw; she had taken her flats off during dinner, sometime after her second glass of wine.

"Comfortable?" Remus asked, toeing off his brown leather, slightly worn-out loafers. Tonks noticed that they matched his belt perfectly, and smiled, not at all surprised.

"I'd be more comfortable if you were sitting here with me," she replied, feeling mischievous.

Remus bent over ever so, to align his shoes against the wall just right. It gave Tonks the perfect opportunity to check out his well-toned arse, and that she did, wondering just how it would feel to wrap her legs around it.

Remus' eyes caught hers as he stood and made his way over. Eyes glazed over from her vivid imagination, it took Tonks a moment to realize that Remus had planted his wonderful bum right beside hers a few seconds later.

Casually, Remus slung his arm over Tonks' shoulders, his left hand landing gently against her collarbone as he settled deeper into the cushions. Her breathing hitched, and she felt heat ignite and flush down her spine, to pool in her abdomen.

"You're good," Tonks murmured, shaking her head.

Remus' eyes lingered on her lips. "Good at what?"

"Seducing me."

Tonks bit back a laugh when she felt Remus exhale roughly into her hair.

"You never said I couldn't," Remus responded cheekily, his fingers starting up a soft caress on her neck.

Tonks smiled to herself and said, "Mm, that's too true." She placed her head on Remus' shoulder, warm inside. She hadn't felt this way in a long time, and it was startling that she and Remus had gotten this far so quickly.

Tonks wasn't sure who kissed who first, but she was certain it was Remus' lips that were a tad bit more eager. She pressed herself against him, arms wrapping around his neck as his slid down and about her waist. It was a soft kiss at first, teasing and playful, but then Tonks' body flared with heat again, and they embraced harder, her lips tingling when Remus nipped at them roughly.

All too soon, Tonks found herself on her back, with her shirt-dress bunched around her waist; Remus was above her, removing her tights, both of them panting with desire.

_I'm glad I'm wearing my good knickers,_ Tonks thought, eyes shut in pleasure as Remus stroked her thighs.

Remus laughed, his quest to remove her tights complete.

"I'm glad you wore your good knickers, too, Tonks," he said.

"Was I thinking aloud?"

Remus nodded, nose pressed against her neck, hands just about everywhere now. He started to kiss her again, and Tonks had just started unbuckling his belt when Remus pulled away abruptly. He started to sniff the air; Tonks looked up at him quizzically.

"What is it, Remus?" she breathed.

"Do you smell that?" he asked.

Tonks felt her face heat up, her hair uncontrollably changing to bright pink.

"I thought you'd done this before," Tonks said, embarrassed.

Remus looked startled. "No- I mean, yes, I have done this, quite a few times, actually- but no, it isn't you- or your scent. It's something else," he whispered. "Burnt cauldron bottoms, dragon's blood, you know?"

Tonks shook her head. "I can't smell that at all."

Tonks remained still, Remus half-splayed atop her.

_Creak._

_Creak._

Remus flew off of Tonks and had his wand in hand within the second. Tonks rushed to copy his movements, her body pumping adrenaline. She could feel her heart thumping harshly, could hear the blood rushing in her ears.

"What is it?" Tonks hissed. She crouched by her hastily discarded tights, searching in vain for her wand. "Shit!"

"What? _Nymphadora_, where's your wand?" Remus whispered furiously, scared for her safety. "Just- stay here, okay?"

Before Tonks could protest, about him calling her by her first name, about him scolding her, about him leaving a _capable Auror_ behind when she could take care of herself, Remus launched himself from the room.

"You dolt!" she called after him, finally meeting the hard wood of her wand.

Tonks hurried out of the room, just as Remus shouted, "_Expelliarmus!_"

"_Protego!_" someone sneered back as Tonks silently and swiftly descended the stairs.

Tonks didn't reveal herself just yet; her head rushed with possibilities of catching the intruder by surprise, of saving _Remus_ and showing him just how competent she was in her Auror expertise. Tonks pressed herself against the wall, listening hard at the conversation that was going on a mere meter away.

"What do you want, Snape?"

_Snape?_ Tonks peered around the landing, only to reveal herself.

"Is that… Nymphadora Tonks?" Snape drawled, a smirk creeping on his face.

Tonks walked down the remaining stairs, wand at the ready and aimed right at his face. "And what if it is?"

Snape leered, making Tonks more than aware of her state of undress. She pulled down her dress, trying unsuccessfully to shield her pale thighs from Snape's persistent black eyes.

Remus took two sidesteps and was in front of Tonks, to protect her and cover her.

"My, my, would you look at that?" Snape said, shaking his head. "I thought you could do better, Tonks."

"Remus is a right sight better than you, that's for sure," Tonks responded, anger rushing through her; her hair became a fiery red, waving away from her face.

Snape's sneer became more pronounced. "You've got to be desperate to be with a man 13 years your senior, I'd say. He's pretty dangerous, too, a werewolf."

Tonks felt like throwing a Cruciatus Curse his way, but then realized that Remus hadn't defended her decision to be with him, or himself for that matter.

"You're not welcome here," Remus finally said, face grim and set.

Snape gave a short nod. "I know. I was just leaving, Lupin. I got what I came for." He swung his cloak over his shoulder, and took off into the night.

When the front door clicked shut, Tonks relaxed her wand hand and rested it against Remus' shoulder. He stood stiff, eyes still trained on the door. Frowning, Tonks came to his front and looked up at him.

Remus' lips were still set in a dour line; he stood, rigid. Tonks could tell he was far off in his mind, and suddenly became worried.

"Don't, Remus," Tonks warned. "Don't believe a word Severus Snape said."

Remus slowly shook his head, and finally looked her in the eye. Tonks stepped back, startled by his sudden look of detachment. Tonks pressed her cool fingertips against his warm cheeks, eyes searching his.

"Please, don't do this, Remus, please." She tip-toed up to press her lips against his; he didn't kiss her back.

Tonks' heart beat rapidly against her ribcage, awaiting the inevitable.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Remus finally said. "We shouldn't even _be_ here. I was a fool to think-"

"To think what?" Tonks interrupted, "That this might actually work?" Rage seized her, and she gripped Remus' rumpled grey sweater. "Well, it might've, if you hadn't been such a prick just now!"

"_Prick?!_ I'm trying to do the right thing!"

"For who?!" Tonks shouted, livid.

"For _you!_ I'm too poor, too old and sick and dangerous."

"I don't care about all of that! Damn it, Remus! I care about _you_, not what anyone would think or about the 'consequences' of being with you, okay?"

Remus shook his head, resolute. "I'm sorry, Tonks, Angel," he said, caressing her face.

Tonks's heart felt like it had dropped into her stomach, then fly back up, to the general area of her throat. She felt _sick._

Eyes swimming with angry tears, Tonks pulled away.

"Fine," she said, wiping roughly at her face as tears rushed down her flushed cheeks. She hurried to the door. "Fine," she said again.

"I'll- I'll see you around, yeah?" Remus said.

"Whatever," Tonks said, scurrying out of Grimmauld Place. She didn't know a single place she wanted to be less.

Tonks slammed the front door in Remus' face. With satisfaction, she heard Mrs. Black's portrait screech and howl about half-breeds and half-bloods using her home like a brothel.

Tonks composed herself as best as possible, outside of Grimmauld Place's protection, so that she wouldn't splinch herself. Barefoot, Tonks pivoted and Disapparated on the spot. When she arrived at her little apartment above her parents' garage, she collapsed onto her bed and cried, for herself, and for Remus.

_Zero, Remus. Negative a zillion, Tonks._


	5. Chapter 5

**No Ordinary Love**

**By Time and Tide**

**A/N:** _This chapter was written by Time, and it is basically a rendition of the last chapter, but in Remus' point of view. We hope you enjoy it._

_Also, the next chapter will be out rather shortly, so keep an eye out!_

**Chapter Five: No, Surrender**

Remus Lupin was as nervous as he had ever been in his life. Being a werewolf, that was saying something.

Dementors, he could handle. Boggarts, a mere walk in the park. Unforgivable curses, a minor inconvenience. He'd had training for all those things. No, this was a much more unfamiliar menace. The scourge of pre-date jitters was ravaging his nerves like a harpie on a ham hock.

The first symptom had been the inability to focus. When he had dressed that morning he had put on freshly pressed black woolen trousers and a brand new jumper. Looking in his bedroom mirror, he decided it would do and began to walk away.

"Ahem."

Remus spun around with his wand drawn.

"Relax, it's just me. Got plans?"

Remus put down his wand and took a deep steadying breath.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have plans. I have a date coming over later."

The long mirror made a noise of acknowledgement before clearing its non-existent throat again. Remus had already grown tired of getting the third degree from a plate of glass.

"What is it now?"

"Are you sure about those pants?"

"Why, what's wrong with them?"

"Oh, nothing, they look quite dapper with those brown shoes."

Remus looked down and sighed.

"Damn, I didn't even notice. I tore up my black shoes during my last change. What should I do now?"

"I'd go with the navy blue linen. Not quite black, and much lighter weight. Heavy wool might chafe, if you know what I mean…eh… know what I mean?"

Rolling his eyes, Remus changed clothes and closed the bedroom door behind him. He'd have to remember to remove Sirius' old mirror from his room before any future dates.

Thinking of future dates brought on symptom two: forgetfulness.

Arriving in the kitchen, Remus went into the pantry to retrieve the items he would need to make dinner. As he reached for a second clove of garlic it hit him; he'd completely forgotten how to cook.

_Bollocks._

All of it was gone. How do you make pasta? What kind of wine went with Italian food? How could you possibly know if all those olives were virgins? Were there olive slags running about?

_Yes, that is what I need to be focusing on right now. Never mind the fact that I have a date coming over in a few hours, I'm wondering about the sex life of party food. Calm down, Lupin, you've done this before. Not in a very long time, but I've done it. Maybe a little drink will help._

Two hours and a bottle of wine later, Remus was much more relaxed. Checking his various lists again, he decided that everything was going according to plan. As a safety measure, he had contacted various people who knew Tonks well. According to their suggestions, Remus had adjusted his original menu plan.

Andromeda had told Remus that her daughter liked a creamy dressing on her Caesar salad, but that she detested anchovies. Kingsley had informed him that Tonks always opted for the minestrone whenever the Ministry cafeteria offered it, but always complained that it was too bland for her taste. Albus had told him that, while attending Hogwarts, Tonks seemed to favor pasta for dinner. Remus had made a note about all of these things in anticipation for their first "official" date.

So, after saving the already purchased anchovies for Crookshanks, adding chili sauce to the simmering soup, and making sure the fettuccini was al dente, Remus turned his attention to setting the table. Candles were quickly lit and fresh flowers were arranged as the minutes continued to tick by. Never being much of a baker, despite being a capable potion brewer, he left the idea for a possible dessert until the last minute and finally decided to keep things simple. Melting some caramels in a copper pot, he decided they could dip something in it if the mood struck them. He was just entertaining the thoughts of drizzling caramel over things other than food when there was a knock upon the front door.

_Damn! Why did I have to start having these thoughts right before the very person I'm thinking about shows up? I guess I'll be keeping my napkin on my lap tonight._

Immediately upon opening the front door, Remus' anxiety began to ebb. Tonks, looking positively radiant, also appeared to be nervous. He wasn't the only one in unfamiliar territory, as it were.

"Hello," Tonks said flashing a genuine smile.

For an indeterminate amount of time, Remus was stunned. His nervousness was gone, for the moment, but it was now replaced by anticipation. Tonks was a beautiful woman. Remus was a lonely man. Grimmauld Place was empty. Remus was just at the point of mentally discerning the shortest route to the nearest bedroom when he noticed a nearly imperceptible shiver come over his vision of loveliness.

_Let her in, you sex-starved git!_

Mumbling some lame apology, Remus let Tonks inside. Before he could slip back into his lust-induced catatonic state, a brown paper bag was thrust into his chest. Even through the wrapping, he could tell the contents were some kind of dessert. That was a relief; since he wasn't entirely sure his caramel dipping sauce would work out. Werewolves were not largely regarded for their puddings.

Learning that the parcel contained a remarkably heavy cheesecake, Remus looked up to see Tonks descending the stairs to the kitchen. He had never really considered walking down stairs sensual before, but he would from now on.

_God in heaven! Those damn Auror robes have been concealing those lovely hips all this time, not to mention that arse. You could bounce a galleon off that thing. I'll have to thank Moody for implementing that fitness regiment. I envy her broom._

Realizing he had been staring, Remus quickly attempted to save face by divulging the night's menu. He never let on that he'd had insider information on her favorite foods and was properly smug when he saw Tonks' face light up.

_Score one for the old dog._

**********

Remus was feeling quite happy with himself. Not only was the meal he had prepared edible, but also it was pretty damn tasty. As a life long bachelor, a tin of baked beans on toast had sustained him many a lonely night. However, when he got a chance to do it, he did enjoy utilizing his mother's old recipes. And, even better than his own enjoyment, was the obvious appreciation of his dinner companion. From her thirds on the chicken and her accelerated heart rate Remus was fairly sure she was enjoying herself. He wondered if she would have any room left at all for afters.

"Remus, I don't think I'll be able to move from here."

The blissful satisfaction expressed upon her face made Tonks look even more seductive. Remus was tempted to throw her down on the table and ravage her there and then, but he decided that it would be good manners to at least clear the table first.

"But, you cooked everything--!"

Rarely had any of Remus' dates offered to help with cleaning up. It wasn't that they were inconsiderate; it was mostly due to the fact that they'd never cleaned up anything before. That was what magic was for. Why get your own hands dirty when a few flicks of the wrist did things just as well? Tonks was different. She wasn't adverse to mucking in and helping out. Her Muggle father had instilled his work ethic into his daughter. Her mother had passed on her natural beauty. Remus was very grateful to them both.

"Fine, I'll be up in the drawing room. By the way, and just so you know, if you're ever going to kiss me, it better be tonight."

Remus nearly dropped his stack of plates.

_Well, so much for the idea of keeping things platonic, then._

**********

Walking up the stairs to rejoin Tonks, Remus wondered when the last time his hands had sweat so much. He'd faced Dementors by the score, but even then he'd kept some level of calm. The truth of the matter was that his current state of anxiety was very different than what he was used to. With a Dementor, you took your wand out and hoped they went away. With Tonks, he was hoping to pull out something else and hoped she stayed.

Walking into the drawing room, Remus was pleased to see that Tonks had made herself at home. Watching her wiggle her cute little toes in front of the lit fireplace caused him to lose his feelings of intimidation.

_How could anyone with nails painted shocking pink be threatening?_

"Comfortable?"

It was a fairly lame way to break the ice, but it was the best Remus could currently come up with. Most of his thought processes were tied up at the moment with appreciating his date's cleavage. They weren't overly large, but she was far from boyish in shape. Knowing that Tonks could change herself into any size she wanted, he wondered if she was in her natural state now. Realizing he may have been focusing on her bosom too much, he raised his eyes to meet her face… only to find that her own gaze failed to extend above his waist. He was glad now for his own fitness regiment.

"I'd be more comfortable if you were sitting here with me."

She didn't have to tell Remus that twice. Noticing the same hungry look in her eyes that he knew were in his, he sat down next to her and placed his arm behind her head on the sofa. Looking at her long slender neck, he could see the fine hairs there standing up. He appreciated seeing it happen to someone that wouldn't be a werewolf in a few minutes. He also wondered what it would be like to trail feathery kisses down that same neck on his way to that lovely light bum Tonks was currently sitting on.

After engaging in some more playful flirting, Remus couldn't help himself anymore. His fingers found their way to her neck and began to caress her soft skin. The time for flirtation was over. The mere contact of flesh upon flesh caused Remus' formerly perfectly fitting trousers to seem impossibly small. This time, unlike before, he had no intention of concealing this fact from the beautiful woman next to him.

Neither would be sure who initiated that first kiss, but Remus liked to think it was himself. Kissing her was perfection. Nothing else existed or mattered. The only regret that lingered in his mind now was why they hadn't done this much sooner. He could feel Tonks fit young body pressing against his. He could feel her own excitement pressing against his chest and knew that she could feel his against her leg. He needed to feel more of her, and he needed it now.

Keeping one hand behind her head, Remus gently positioned himself over top of her. As one hand kept Tonks' head steady enough to continue kissing her, Remus' other hand busied itself with removing the obstacle of clothes. Fortunately, and not at all coincidentally, Remus was able to get to Tonks' damp and fragrant panties very quickly. After tossing them over his shoulder, he heard Tonks mumble something coherent amidst her moaning.

"I'm glad I'm wearing my good knickers."

Remus laughed.

"I'm glad you're wearing your good knickers, too, Tonks."

_Good knickers?_

Remus thought that was debatable. He would have much preferred it is she had simply gone commando. Not only would it have been deliciously sexy, it would have also eliminated one more step in the process of getting her naked. Sure, a vanishing charm would have done the deed in an instant, but some things were better done by hand. Remus was hopeful that it would be the only thing he'd need to do by hand that evening.

By now, Tonks was a very willing participant in the race to nakedness. While Remus kissed her Cupid's bow lips, she was making short work of the belt of his trousers. Feeling the leather slide between her fingers gave her other ideas for its possible use, but she decided that the employment of constraints might be too much for a first date. She did make a mental note to bring it up in the future, though.

Then, just as Tonks had discovered that Remus was a boxers man, his lips were suddenly gone from her own.

"What is it, Remus?"

"Do you smell that?"

"I thought you'd done this before."

It took a minute for Remus to figure out what Tonks had meant.

_Done what before?_

_Oh, yeah, that._

She thought he was referring to her… scent.

That wasn't it. Hell, he'd noticed that as soon as he came upstairs. No, this smell was entirely different. Remus had an idea what it was, but that wasn't the problem.

The problem was that he shouldn't smell it at all.

_Creak_

_Creak_

Remus reverted to battle mode the instant he had heard the first creak. Tonks hadn't heard that one, but she did catch the second one, barely. Having a slight advantage, he had rushed from the room in hopes of putting a stop to any potential situation before Tonks could join him. In action it seemed decidedly chauvinistic. In reality he was merely acting as a protector. Remus would have done the same thing towards anyone, regardless of gender.

"_Expelliarmus!"_

"_Protego!"_

As he got closer to the intruder, Remus was able to discern another scent. The one invading his nose now was unquestioningly Severus Snape. The stronger smells of potion ingredients had overpowered all others at a distance, but close up it became apparent. To Remus, Snape always smelled of mildew and burnt wood. Since Snape spent the bulk of his time in a dank and torch-lit dungeon, it was little wonder. He had actually discerned it was his fellow Order member before he had cast the _Expelliarmus_ spell, but he had done so anyway out of anger.

"What do you want, Snape?"

Before the sallow faced professor could answer, Tonks made her presence known. Remus saw Snape's reaction and cringed.

_Why couldn't she have just stayed upstairs like I told her?_

While Remus thought this, Tonks suddenly moved in to confront their unwelcome visitor. Being practically naked from the waist down, Snape got a very good look at Tonks' toned thighs. Seeing how much he was enjoying the view caused Remus to shield her from his perverted leering. He was about to demand Snape be on his way when he heard the greasy haired git give voice to one of his deepest insecurities.

"I thought you could do better, Tonks."

Tonks reacted predictably by retaliating against Snape in their verbal battle. Unfortunately, Lupin also acted as one might suspect. Having already believed that he was unworthy of the younger woman's affections, hearing Snape say it out loud seemed to make it fact.

"You've got to be desperate to be with a man 13 years your senior, I'd say. He's pretty dangerous, too, a werewolf."

Remus' anger at Snape now turned back towards himself. Tonks was obviously making a huge mistake. He was far too old for her. The other members of the Order would feel the same way if their relationship became known. This would harm Tonks' position in the group, and also her personal reputation. Everyone who resented her for being a full-fledged Auror at such a young age would now add this to their list of objections towards her. And, yes, he was a werewolf. If he ever harmed her in any way he would never be able to live with himself. He needed to end this situation immediately.

"You're not welcome here."

Fortunately, Snape did leave; taking with him any confidence Remus might have built up for himself.

Remus could hear and feel Tonks trying to bring him back, but he was already gone. The Remus Lupin of five minutes ago no longer existed. His attention was only regained when he heard her calling him something he hadn't been called since he was in school.

"_Prick_?! I'm trying to do the right thing!"

Remus was desperate for her to understand. He didn't have any money! If it hadn't been for Sirius, he wouldn't even have a place to stay. On top of that, what decent woman would want a werewolf for a lover? The idea of a shag with a physically enhanced man was one thing, but would it be worth the risk? No, he couldn't do that to Tonks. He wanted her badly, very badly, but it wasn't about what he wanted to do. No, this was about what he needed to do.

In his weakened state, Remus let slip his nickname for her. He had thought of her as his "Angel" for several months now. He was convinced that she could save him, but now he realized that he would only end up destroying her in the process. He wanted to end things on a positive note, but that broom had already flown. Tonks was angry and hurt, and it was all his fault.

Hearing Tonks slam the door on her way out, Remus barely registered the accompanying screeches from Mrs. Black. Nothing mattered anymore. Kreacher could have brought Voldemort up from the basement and it wouldn't have affected him in the slightest. He had messed up, and messed up badly. Tonks would never forgive him, and he knew he deserved her anger. He should have never allowed himself to think that he might have had any chance at happiness. All those years of exile from normal society should have taught him that.

Walking back upstairs, Remus noticed that he could still smell Tonks' scent everywhere. Despite her leaving the way she did, the smell of her previous arousal did nothing to ease his own. He had been so close, and his body didn't seem to want to surrender just yet. Unfortunately, the battle had already been waged, and he had lost.

Still in a daze, Remus began to clean up the drawing room. A few wand flicks would have done the job, but he wanted something to focus on instead of his own despair. The cushions from the couch had somehow ended up on the floor, along with all of the pillows. He looked around to make sure she had found her knickers and instead found her shoes not far from his own. The sight reminded him of the look in Tonks' eyes when he had caught her watching him. She looked hungry, even though they had just got done eating. He had been hungry, too. Both of them had yearned for the other, and yet neither of them was able to satisfy their needs.

Sitting down heavily on the now restored couch, Remus was about to summon a bottle of brandy from the cellar when the fire still blazing in the hearth turned green.

"Ah, Remus, you're still awake. I need to talk with you about a very important mission that… what's wrong?"

Remus had not looked up to meet Albus' gaze once while he had been spoken to. Knowing the kind of man he was, Albus knew that something wasn't right. Remus quickly wiped at his eyes once before raising his head.

"Nothing, nothing at all. What can I do for you, Headmaster?"

The elder wizard didn't need to be a master in the art of mind reading to know that something was wrong with Remus, but he also knew that there were important matters that needed to be discussed.

"Remus, I have a task that I need your help on. Voldemort will almost certainly be recruiting various magical creatures to aid him in this war. I fear it is inevitable that one such group he will target is werewolves, especially with Fenrir Greyback in his service. My idea is for you to infiltrate one of the colonies and report back your findings. I would greatly hope that they would stay neutral, but that is highly unlikely. I know that doing this would require you to put your life in grave danger, but you are the only one who can accomplish this. Would you be willing to discuss this idea in greater detail with me at the next Order meeting?"

Remus needed only a moment to consider the offer. He would have accepted the mission willingly, no matter what the danger. Now, with what had just happened with Tonks, the idea of getting away from everything seemed well worth the risk.

_Anything would be better than dealing with what I'm feeling now, wouldn't it?_

Little did Remus know at the time just how much worse things could, and would, get.

_TBC…_


	6. Chapter 6

_**No Ordinary Love**_

**By:** Time and Tide

**A/N: **This chapter was written by Tide. She hopes you enjoy it.

**Chapter 6: **The Way It Is

The morning after her break-up with Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks woke up with a splitting headache. As thunder rolled in the near distance, she turned over with a groan and pressed her cold fingertips to her burning eyes.

She was not at all shocked to find wetness on her cheeks.

Wiping away irritably at the lingering tears, she sat up into a hunched over position, and stared out of the window to her immediate right. The sky was a depressing shade of grey, the clouds overhead looking ready to burst.

"Today should be a _pleasant_ day," Tonks muttered scathingly under her breath as a lone droplet of water splashed onto her windowpane.

She fell back into bed, wondering if she should owl in sick; she knew for sure that she'd be getting to the office a couple of hours later than normal. But, determined not to think about Remus, Tonks grudgingly got out of bed, realizing that work would be a good way to keep her mind off of the-

_Ridiculous arse._

She cleared her mind as she shuffled to her closet grudgingly, to look for an outfit. Tonks wanted nothing more than to go to work in sweatpants and a t-shirt, but dress code on Level Two required tight-fitting garments underneath their uniformed robes, no matter if one was scheduled to remain at Auror Headquarters, or out at combat or on location.

Tonks racked her brain, trying to remember the day.

_Sunday. Paperwork day at Headquarters._

She gulped hard, remembering another event scheduled for the day.

_Order of the Phoenix meeting._

"Shit."

"Ready for lunch, Nymphadora?"

Tonks didn't bother looking up as she muttered, "Don't call me that."

Silence for a moment, then the visitor said, "I thought it would get a rise out of you."

Tonks sighed, glancing up at one of her closest friends and co-worker of hers. "Can't you tell I'm in no mood?"

Joss Appleton gave a crooked sort of smile and leaned against Tonks' full-to-bursting filing cabinet, crossing his muscular arms in front of him.

Tonks had known Joss back from their Hogwarts days, although he was a year above her, but they hadn't become friends until her first year at Auror Training. Joss had helped Tonks out a lot through drills, and he even saved her life once when confiscating a poisonous candle set and a multitude of soap bars containing Bulbadox Powder from a street vender at the corner of Knockturn Alley. Said street vender, however, did not go quietly: in protest, he cast an Unforgivable Curse at Tonks, only to miss when Joss pushed her out of harm's way.

"Well, you _did_ get here two hours late. And your hair, which you usually keep up with, is atrocious today."

Tonks knew Joss was joshing around, but it was true. That very morning, after donning on a pair of tight jeans and a bright yellow tank top, she willed her hair to bloom into bubble-gum pink curls, but to no avail. She was left with mousy brown elflocks that she painstakingly brushed out the Muggle way and styled into a messy knot on the top of her head.

"You certainly know how to make a girl feel better, don't you?" Tonks said as she rolled her eyes.

Joss' smile fell. "You really aren't happy, are you? What's happened?"

Tonks bit her lip and closed her eyes. Pressing her cool fingertips against her eyelids (and inadvertently smudging ink beneath one of her eyebrows), she groaned, "You've no idea."

"We can talk it out over lunch. Georgiana is coming along. Maybe she can help you more than I can?" he suggested.

At the mention of Georgiana Erevis, Tonks couldn't help but smile. Her best friend since Hogwarts had returned from visiting family in Scotland, and she hadn't yet seen her. Tonks was more than relieved, so that she could tell her everything, if she could manage to talk about it, that is.

"Couldn't go on without seeing her, could you?" Tonks teased, a small smile blossoming on her face.

Joss grinned, showing a row of sparkling white teeth. It was all she needed as an answer.

"So, when are you proposing?" Tonks asked with a bit of difficulty, slipping her hidden bare feet into her faux leopard print flats. She wasn't quite sure she wanted to be discussing romance at such a time, but since it had to do with her best friend….

Joss' ran a hand through his thick brown hair and rested it on the nape of his neck.

"I haven't got a date set, to ask her, but I bought her the ring. I have it with me; I won't dare leave it in the flat where she can find it. Do you want to see it?" Joss asked in a rush of nervousness and excitement.

Before Tonks knew it, before she could decline his offer, or even shrug noncommittally, Joss withdrew a square, navy blue box from his robes and opened it to reveal a gold band with a huge, gleaming diamond attached.

Tonks nodded, her heart heavy and her throat suddenly tight.

"It's lovely," Tonks choked out, and she jumped from her chair in a hurry and turned to face the magical windows, which displayed a bright, cerulean sky, a betrayal to her mood.

"Are you-"

"I'm fine," Tonks interrupted. "Just, you know, getting my stuff." She threw on her khaki cardigan, not at all in the mood for the hot robes the Auror Department required for wear at all times, and slipped her wand into the back pocket of her jeans, hoping that the swipe she made at the moisture at the corner of her eye went unnoticed.

Tonks swallowed hard and pressed her lips together. Seeing that ring brought Remus Lupin into clear view, to the forefront of her mind. For the first time in her life, she envied something that she couldn't have, something steady and pure and whole.

_Maybe someone else will come along._

The idea formed in her brain, and left the next moment. She knew there wouldn't be anyone else but Remus. A year of friendship and two fantastic dates wasn't a lot to go on, but there was something with Remus that Tonks hadn't had with any other bloke she'd dated. For the first time in her life, she had felt heat flush her cheeks, and experienced lightness in her heart, a flutter of snitches in her belly, all at the same time, all in Remus' presence.

Clearing her throat and turning around, Tonks stared at a spot over Joss' shoulder, avoiding his searching gaze, and asked, "Moody is on location today, right?"

"I haven't seen him, so I suppose he is," Joss said, looking over his shoulder quizzically.

Tonks brushed past him and towards the corridor to the lifts. "Good. If he was to make a comment about losing my buttocks, I'd have to knock out his wooden leg."

Tonks and Joss stepped out of the fireplace and into The Leaky Cauldron, eyes searching for a head of curly black hair. They spotted Georgiana at the same time, near the end of the bar ordering drinks.

"Georgie!" Tonks squealed.

For the first time that day, Tonks found herself grinning. When Georgiana met Tonks in the middle of the pub, to embrace, Tonks started to laugh, because she was so happy at seeing her best friend, so relieved to have someone to talk to, but Tonks also started to cry- her heart simply felt like it was going to burst with all the different emotions coursing through her.

"Tonks?"

"Tonks, what's wrong?"

Georgiana and Joss escorted Tonks to a table in the corner of the pub- a few patrons were staring at them with worry and curiosity- and helped her into the booth as she blubbered away apologies, almost knocking over the salt and pepper shakers with a flippant hand motion.

Through watery eyes, Tonks could tell her friends were confused and concerned about her sudden breakdown. Georgiana and Joss exchanged significant looks, which made Tonks' heart wrench, and Joss left the table and walked towards the bar.

"He'll be getting the drinks now," Georgiana explained, scrutinizing Tonks with her piercing blue eyes. "Now, tell me, what's gotten you so upset? This is a Tonks I've never seen before…"

Feeling sick, Tonks had a split second to decide whether or not to relay what had happened between herself and Remus to Georgiana. On the way over to The Leaky Cauldron, she had mentally debated, weighing the pros and cons: she would feel a world of relief and maybe even get some advice on what to do, on how to handle the situation, but she might also get sheer repugnance from her friends, for the fact that Remus was a werewolf, for the fact that he was so much older…

Squaring her shoulders, she determinedly met Georgiana's eyes and said, "I have a thing with Remus Lupin."

Georgiana's eyebrows flew up so that they disappeared into her fringe. Tonks waited for the explosion with bated breath. She didn't need to, though.

"What do you mean by 'thing'?" Georgiana inquired after a moment.

Baffled, Tonks asked, "Aren't you going to ask me about Remus Lupin first?"

Georgiana looked at her quizzically. "Why? Do I need to? From what I've heard about him, he's-"

"-a werewolf-"

"-a respectable man," Georgiana finished, speaking over Tonks' interruption. She went on to say, as Tonks stared at her, "If Dumbledore trusted him to teach at Hogwarts, then why should I question your decision to have a 'thing' with him?"

Tonks furrowed her brow. This wasn't at all what she was expecting, but then again, she should've known her friend would be a liberal witch.

"Tonks," Georgiana started, pulling at the uncomfortable collar of her lime green Healer robes, "I've known you since we were eleven years old. We're like two halves of a whole, you and I. Did you really think I wasn't going to approve? Did you really think that if I did, I'd be able to _stop_ you?"

Tonks felt ashamed of herself and looked away, towards the bar where Joss was just then getting their drinks. Georgiana had a point. Even if her best mate had disapproved of the so-called 'thing' Tonks had with Remus, there was no way she could persuade her to drop someone she really cared for.

Tonks was in Hufflepuff for a reason.

Shrugging in vain, she said, attempting humor to shield her embarrassment, "Well, you know, we've never discussed the possibility of shagging a werewolf. I wasn't sure how you'd take it."

Their eyes met, they both pressed their lips together, and then they abruptly roared with laughter.

Just as Tonks was snorting to a stop, Joss placed a butterbeer and two cherry syrup and sodas onto the table. Georgiana slid down the booth a bit, to make room for her boyfriend, then kissed him on the cheek in greeting. Tonks smiled sadly.

"So, what've I missed?" Joss asked after slurping about half of his butterbeer down and telling them that he'd ordered fish and chips all around.

"Not much," Tonks said, raising her glass. "Cheers."

Georgiana smirked over at her, over her own drink, and said simply, "Tonks has a boyfriend."

Joss' eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"_Had_," Tonks said firmly. "Well, I don't think it even went that far, actually."

"I thought you said you had a 'thing' with him! You even mentioned shagging him!" Georgiana proclaimed.

"Well, obviously 'thing' is a very loose term," Tonks said, rolling her eyes.

"Wait a moment," Joss said, pointing his butterbeer at Tonks. "Who did you have a 'thing' with?"

"Remus Lupin," Tonks said plainly.

Joss whistled, looking surprised. "That guy has a lot of baggage."

"Tell me about it," Tonks muttered.

Tonks went on to tell her two closest friends about her "pre-date," as she deemed it, with Remus at The Leaky Cauldron, and how it had been she to make the first move. She then went on to explain that Remus had asked her out to dinner, leaving out the exact location of the place, and had wooed her so with a lovely meal and plenty of flirtation. She skimmed over her time on the couch with Remus, mentioning only that he'd kissed her first and that they'd been interrupted by none other than Severus Snape.

"_Snape_? Snape was _there_? Why? And what happened?" Georgiana asked, astounded.

Tonks huffed. "Well, he definitely ruined _everything_. He started having a go at him by telling me that I must be desperate, that he was too old and dangerous for me. I think that everything Remus was trying to ignore was thrown straight back into his face, and Snape certainly knew that would get under his skin.

"I tried to talk Remus out of it, but he wasn't having it. Whatever we'd started just fell apart." Tonks bit her lip and inhaled sharply, trying not to cry.

"Oh, Tonks," Georgiana said, reaching across the table to squeeze at her hand.

"I really like him, you know?" Tonks said, turning her face away to swipe at the tears at the corners of her eyes with her free hand.

"You've never been like this before," Georgiana stated. "You've never been this upset about a bloke."

"He's the only one I've ever wanted," Tonks uttered feebly, sniffing roughly.

Joss offered her an awkward smile.

"Cheer up, you," he finally said. "If it's meant to be, it'll happen in time."

The corners of her lips twitched, and Tonks said, "You've always been an optimistic fool, haven't you?"

He shrugged. "Someone's got to be."

Conversation about Remus Lupin ceased for a while. While they ate, they talked mostly about their jobs and the state of things in both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds. But when they'd paid the bill and were just sliding out of the booth, Georgiana asked Tonks as Joss led the way out of the pub and towards Diagon Alley, "Do your parents know about your 'thing' with Remus?"

They stopped at the brick wall to the Alley, and Tonks stared at the scarlet blocks. Since she and Remus had gone out, Tonks hadn't bothered to mention to her parents that she had been seeing someone, someone who was many years older, and a werewolf.

Diagon Alley came into view; she wasn't exactly sure who had tapped the bricks, and said as she walked through the entrance way, "My father met him."

"What did he say? And why the bloody hell did you introduce the two so early on?" Georgiana asked, holding hands with Joss and her shoulder brushing lightly against Tonks'.

"Yes, well," Tonks said, "it was quite unexpected."

She recounted her story, about Remus being kind enough to bring her leather jacket to her, and her father coming round the driveway to tell her to stop bringing men down from her flat.

"But you weren't dating at the time?" Joss asked.

Tonks shook her head. "No, it was that afternoon when we went to have lunch. I told my dad that I could take care of myself. He then proceeded to embarrass the hell out of me."

"That's what fathers are for," Georgiana said in a stage whisper with a roll of her eyes.

"He does a good job, then," Tonks responded back.

Just nudging playfully at Georgiana with her shoulder caused Tonks to overanalyze her next step; with the toe of her flats hooking onto a slightly protruding brick, Tonks crashed with flailing arms into a tall figure stepping out of the Apothecary. As soon as her nose collided painfully into the person's collarbone, she knew she was in deep shit.

"Remus!" Tonks cried, steadying herself on his _wonderfully_ broad shoulders, the muscles of which, she was very aware, were rippling beneath her fingertips. Vaguely, Tonks registered that Remus' hands had found her waist, no doubt to keep her upright.

"Hello, Tonks," Remus said, much more subdued than she. "All right, then?"

She stared at him, still dizzied by his intoxicating scent of chamomile and sandalwood, not because she had nothing to say- on the contrary, maybe _too_ much- but because they'd just broken up the night before, and Remus was being so indifferent during this unexpected run-in with each other. It was a bit baffling to Tonks.

"Err, yeah, I guess," Tonks responded in a burst of breath she didn't know she'd been holding, nodding her head vigorously, feeling as if she were about to vomit all over Remus' _lovely_ brown loafers.

_The loafers that he'd worn last night._

_Oh, Merlin_, Tonks thought, then wondered if she'd make it through this encounter. She rubbed her sweaty hands on her jeans.

When a cool hand clenched her arm, Tonks realized she was still nodding.  
She stopped bobbing abruptly, as Georgiana said, giving her a pointed look, "Tonks, you've forgotten your Most Noble and Ancient Black manners."

Mind still reeling from Remus' nonchalance, Tonks exclaimed, "Oh!" and her arms slackened to her side just as Remus retracted his hands; she missed him curl his fingers longingly.

She introduced Remus to Georgiana ("my best friend"), as well as to Joss ("a very close colleague"), and Georgiana and Joss to Remus, an-

"-Acquaintance of sorts," Tonks said after a slight pause, looking at Remus, searching his face and finding nothing but detachment.

Her lungs felt like they were full of lead, which usually happened when all that she wanted to do was cry. Did he not even _care_ that she hadn't given him the title of Friend at the very least? She'd expected at least some sort of reaction. But Remus just nodded and forced a smile onto his face, as if he was _wasting his time_.

"Pleasure. Really," he said, sounding much like he was trying to convince Georgiana and Joss, and himself.

Tonks' heart felt heavy. Why hadn't gravity pushed her into the earth yet? She really wished it had when Remus asked, "Tonks, could I have a private word?"

Gut wrenching, Tonks glanced quickly at Georgiana and Joss, and seeing their encouraging looks is what made her follow Remus into the tiny, dingy lane between the Apothecary and the entrance to Diagon Alley, a little out of the way.

Upsetting the tin top of a garbage can with a violent swing of her arm, Tonks winced and waited for a crash that never came. Remus' reflexes were in top form, as he levitated the top back to its rightful place in the dim alleyway.

"Sorry," Tonks muttered, and leaned back against the dirty brick wall, crossing her arms over her chest and gazing at her feet with unseeing eyes.

She felt Remus come nearer to her, was certain his hand hovered above her arm before he pulled away hastily. Heat flooded her cheeks, and her blood was roaring in her ears, she was so mad.

After what felt like days of standing there, Remus cleared his throat and said, "I'm glad to see you out and about." He paused, let out a sigh. "I've been worried about you."

Tonks stared at him, incredulous, eyebrows raised skeptically. "Yeah? Why's that?"

His eyes searched her face, and a different type of heat flooded through Tonks. She ignored it, tried to remember she was angry, and finally stood akimbo, awaiting Remus' answer.

He looked a bit nervous as he explained, gazing into her eyes, "Well, I was concerned that you might not… that you would be… I don't know what I thought, really. I'm rubbish with this sort of thing." Tonks' lips twitched. Why did Remus have to be so _perfect_?

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry that I hurt you," Remus continued, "I never meant to, but I know that I did. I'm sorry."

His eyes fell, and Tonks' heart felt like it had plummeted to the pit of her stomach. She appreciated the sincere apology, but it wasn't enough for her. She moved in front of him (almost stepping on his foot in the process), grasped the soft and worn material of his charcoal blazer's sleeve and gave it a gentle tug.

Their eyes met again. "If you don't want to hurt me, stay with me." She pushed the cuff of his sleeve up slightly, wanting to feel him. Her fingertips grazed the soft hairs along the back of his hand, and just that made her arm erupt with gooseflesh. "I don't _care_ about your condition. I don't _care_ about your money. I don't _care_ how old you are. I really like you, Remus, can't you see that?" With every word Tonks said, her voice rose steadily in anger.

Remus pulled his sleeve away roughly, and a navy button flew off and rolled down the alley. Tonks was sure that before he turned his face away, she'd seen a flash of something in his eyes, something she'd only seen once before: last night.

"I can't, Tonks," Remus said suddenly. "I know that you think you want this now, but what about your future? You've got your whole life ahead of you, one full of promise and potential. I would only get in the way of all that. You deserve someone who you can be proud of, not someone that will be an anchor around your neck." Tonks stared at him, stunned. "I can't… I can't do that you."

It took her a second to recover from the dismissal he'd clearly given her.

"I want this now, Remus, don't you? We can take this one step at a time." She looked up at him, hoping he'd take her side and take her into his arms. "You can't honestly tell me you want to be single forever."

Remus laughed a sad laugh that made Tonks ache; she wanted to fix this man, to make him believe that he was worth everything.

"No, I don't think anyone wants to stay single, but sometimes life isn't fair. Don't you see what I'm trying to say, though? I'm not right for you."

Everything stopped with those words. Tonks felt ill, felt as if someone had physically kicked her in the stomach. Unaware of her pain, Remus went on even though all she wanted to do was box her ears.

"I'm not good enough for you. It's not that I don't lo- that I don't care about you, it's just that I've got too much baggage."

"So I've heard," Tonks interrupted.

"I would only end up hurting you more than I already have, Angel."

For a moment, Tonks glared at Remus, until she realized he used his nickname for her, and possibly almost used the word "love" in his spiel. All her anger dissipated in a flash.

"We're good together, Remus. You _are_ right for me. There's no question about it." She paused, wanting his hand in hers again. "You're not letting life be fair, when you push everything that's good away."

Remus turned away from her. "I've spent a lifetime of pushing things away, Tonks. Ever since the day my parents were killed during the first war, I've isolated myself in order to guard against feeling too much." Tonks could tell it was painful and difficult for Remus to talk about such a subject. She was about to console him somehow, with a hand onto his shoulder, but he whirled around, and she withdrew her hand quickly. "Look, I'm sorry how things ended the other night. Friends?"

Remus held out his hand. Confused and with furrowed brows, Tonks stared at his hand, then looked up at him and into his eyes.

Tonks wasn't sure what to say, but before she knew it, "You and I both know that we can never be Just Friends now," spilled from her lips with steely resolve. She crossed her arms in front of her chest again, feeling vulnerable and terrible for saying such a thing to Remus. It was true, though. If she couldn't have all of him, which she was going to try to get for the rest of her life if she had to, then she wouldn't have him at all.

Tonks gaped when all Remus did was sigh in understanding. "Well, at least we shall remain comrades in the Order. I guess I'll be seeing you tonight at the meeting, then." If her jaw could hit the floor, it would have. "It was nice meeting your friends. I'd better get going. If I don't take this Wolfsbane Potion soon, I'll miss my chance. I'll see you later, Tonks."

Without another word, Remus walked quickly out of the alleyway with only an awkward nod to Tonks, then one each to Georgiana and Joss, who were at the entrance of their secluded area, talking amongst themselves. Tonks hurried to her friends, watching Remus go with a throbbing headache.

With every step Remus took, his shoulders slumped forward further under the weight of his shame.


	7. Chapter 7

**No Ordinary Love**

**By Time and Tide**

**A/N:** _Hello, all! Tide here. You're all caught up! This chapter is the latest one out, and Chapter 8, which will be by me, is on slight hold at the moment due to an insane college schedule. I'm hoping to have it out soon, as it's already half written, so keep an eye out for that! Anyway, this chapter is by Time, and he hopes very much that you enjoy reading it. Be sure to review, as well, as we find it generally makes us happy. :)_

**Chapter Seven: Advice**

Walking into the Leaky Cauldron, Remus could still feel Tonks staring at him through the brick and mortar that now separated them. He knew in his mind that he was doing the right thing, but his heart refused to accept it.

Seeing her again certainly hadn't helped matters, either. She had looked mostly like her true self, which was unusual for her. Normally she would alter her appearance when out in the public eye. Remus recalled her saying that she did it to mask her true identity, but he strongly suspected it was a long held defense mechanism. He believed that she did it to hide herself from the outside world. Seeing the real her reminded him of just how attractive he thought she was, and how the feel of her soft lips upon his made him forget that evil existed in the world. Seeing her again had weakened his resolve greatly, and he knew that he would be seeing her again that very evening at the Order meeting, and it may nearly break him.

Try as he might, Remus could not get the image of Tonks' body intertwined with his own out of his mind. He also became aware that it would soon be obvious to any passerby what it was that he was thinking about. Robes could only conceal so much, you know. He would have to do something fast. Suddenly, the solution dawned on him. He would utilize the method men had been employing since the dawn of time to combat such problems. As luck would have it, he was even in the ideal place to do it.

He would get drunk.

Taking a seat at the bar, Remus held up three fingers to Tom the bartender. This signified that he wanted three fingers of firewhiskey. Knowing that Remus seldom ever requested anything more than a single shot, the experienced tender of the taps knew something was amiss. When you had tended bar as long as Tom had, you didn't need magic to know when someone had a problem of the heart.

"Here you are, Remus. Not like you to try and compete with Hagrid in drinking. What's the lass's name?"

Remus threw back the generous amount of alcohol and felt his throat and stomach become numb. He looked forward to the rest of his body- and mind- following suit.

"No, I'd never be fool enough to try and match Hagrid, Tom. Drinking from a bucket never appealed to me. And what makes you think I've got a problem with the lasses?"

Tom refilled Remus' glass with slightly less firewhiskey and handed it to him with a knowing, albeit toothless, smile.

"Come off it, Remus. I was serving pints to love's casualties when you were still in nappies. James had the same look on his face that you do now when he was chasing around after Lily. Hell, you and Sirius used to tease him something awful about it, I may not have a pair of bristols like Madam Rosemerta, but I know when a bloke is after a bit of crumpet. So, who are you setting your cap to, eh?"

Remus sighed as he remembered that there was indeed something worse than being alone and miserable: being miserable around other people.

"I'm fine, Tom, really. Just a bit down, is all. I don't really have time for a relationship, anyway. Helping Dumbledore keeps me pretty busy, and that suits me just fine."

Tom refilled Remus' once again empty glass and shook his head.

"Too busy? Merlin's brass balls, what is it with young people these days? When I was a young man I was always ready for romance. Well, up until I got married. Not much point after that. Make hay while the sun shines, me old lad. Now, what's your plan to win her over?"

Remus was now very much wishing that he could've gone to Grimmauld to get drunk.

"I don't know what to do, Tom. I honestly have no idea."

"Well, for starters, you could buy a mate a pint."

Remus placed his now throbbing head in his hands. Of all the people in the world, the last person he wanted to talk with now was…

"The usual, Dung?"

"Ta, guv. How's me credit?"

Tom quickly let go of the rarely used Pig's Eye Scrumpy tap.

"Barely good enough for a saucer full of loo water."

Dung grimaced at the obvious look of disdain he was now receiving from the normally jovial barman. Paying bar tabs was never his strong suit.

"Come on guv, what about that time I got rid of all them rats in the basement, eh? You'd have been a fair cop if the Ministry's health goons had seen them. I never charged you a knut for doing that.

Tom crossed his arms across his barrel chest.

"Strange that I never had a problem with vermin until you showed up, isn't it?"

Dung was about to claim his complete innocence when Remus sighed and fished another galleon from his pocket.

"Here you go, Tom. It's best to just get him his drink. If you don't he'll just sit here and pout all day. You wouldn't want to scare away the paying customers, right?"

Tom laughed as he handed Dung his pint and pocketed the offered galleon.

"Cheers, Remus. You're a gentleman and a scholar."

Dung took a long draught from his mug and sat down next to his new best friend.

"So, what's wrong, me lad? Some wench got you by the short and curlies?"

Remus felt his headache spreading throughout his brain. His monthly transformations seemed preferable to how he felt now.

"I'm fine, Dung, really. Thank you for your concern."

Dung laughed and slapped him hard on the back.

"Don't try to fool a fooler, guv. I may have never decided to set up housekeeping, but I've felt the bloom of romance in my time."

Remus couldn't help but smile at this. He could not recall a time previous that Dung had said a complete sentence without profanity.

_Maybe he really can help._

Taking another long sip from his firewhiskey, Remus turned to look directly into the eyes of the shabby wizard next to him.

"Dung, have you ever had that one moment where you were truly happy? A moment where you knew exactly what you wanted, but also knew that you could never have it, even though you'd give anything to have it in your life? Have you ever lay awake at night and thought about them and wished they were there, lying next to you? Have you ever felt like that, Dung?"

A knowing look came upon Dung's face as he took another sip of his drink.

"Of course I have, guv. I have the same feelings as anyone else. In fact, I'm feeling that way myself at the moment.

Remus' eyebrows went nearly to his hairline.

"Really? I guess I'm not alone, then. What's been keeping you from your happiness?"

"Several things, really. Molly Bloody Weasley, for one. I can hardly sneak a fag without her complaining. The Potter lad wouldn't be best pleased, either. He doesn't have any real claim, but I reckon he'd still be looking to wring my neck. I'd probably get sacked from the Order, too."

Remus was, yet again, confused. What in the hell was Dung talking about? What would cause Molly and Harry to want him dead? What did Harry have no real claim to that someone might want? Suddenly, a terrible thought occurred to him. Who did Molly and Harry both love, in very different ways?

_Ginny._

Remus could feel the bile rising to his throat at the very thought of it.

"Dung! How could you?"

The look on Dung's face turned fearful.

"Hey, I haven't touched them! I swear! Everyone one of the blasted things are still there, I promise!"

Remus went from enraged back to utterly confused.

"What the hell are you talking about, Dung?"

"All that blasted Goblin-wrought silverware, o' course! Just one of them spoons would keep me in liquor for a year! Why, what did you think I was talking about?"

It was at this time that Remus decided that he'd had enough.

"I'm getting out of here. Tom, here's the money for the drinks. Dung, I'll see you at the meeting."

Remus got up from his barstool and walked a bit unsteadily towards the bar's Floo, deciding that he should get something in his stomach to soak up some of the ample amount of firewhiskey in his system. Thinking of this, he focused on the one place he knew that always had a generous supply of comfort food on hand. Throwing the powder into the hearth, he made a mental note to ask for a hangover potion when he got to his destination…

"The Burrow!"

**********

"Ah, Remus, I didn't know you'd be here so early. Is something wrong?"

Remus grabbed another chicken leg from the platter in front of him and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Hello, Arthur. No, nothing's wrong. I've had a few too many and thought I'd better get something in my stomach before the meeting."

Now, when you had been married as long as Arthur Weasley had, you earned an honorary degree in relationships. After seven children, you qualified for a doctorate.

"Really? Any particular reason you wanted to get legless before tea time?"

Remus sighed.

_Well, so much for all that Occlumency training. I seem to be an open book to everyone._

"You're as bad as Dung, Arthur."

The red-headed wizard laughed.

"Dung? What in Merlin's name have you been talking to that old sheep-worrier about?"

"It's a long story, old friend."

Arthur poured himself a mug of his beloved home brew and sat down across from his troubled comrade.

"Remus, I've been married to Molly for over twenty years. I am an expert at listening."

Remus couldn't help but chuckle. The man had a point.

"Well, it all started one night at Headquarters…"

Over the next half-hour, Remus told Arthur about his situation with Tonks, omitting the occasional sordid detail here and there. By the end of his explanation, both wizards had downed nearly an entire jug of Arthur's dandelion brandy. After a few minutes of thoughtful silence, Arthur looked pointedly at his friend.

"So, in essence, you've decided that you aren't worthy of Tonks. You feel she could do better, and that being with you will only cause her pain."

Remus sobered immediately. It wasn't so much due to the Hangover Helper potion he had just taken as it was to the fact that Arthur had summed up the entirety of what he was feeling. Truly, the man was a prophet.

"Yes! That is exactly how I feel! What can I do about it?"

Remus waited anxiously for the answer. If Arthur told him that the only way he could get through this was to give all his money to charity, he would be heading straight to Gringotts.

"It's called being in love, Remus. I'm afraid there isn't a blessed thing you can do about it.'

Remus' face fell.

"What? You're supposed to be helping me here, Arthur! You said it yourself; I'm not good enough for her! I can't do that to Tonks!"

The older wizard smiled.

"No, you said that you weren't good enough for her. I would have to agree, though. You aren't good enough for her, just like I'm not good enough for Molly."

Remus wasn't certain whether he had proven his point, or been insulted.

"Why would you think you aren't good enough for Molly? The two of you are like the gold standard for a relationship. You two were made for each other."

Arthur burst out laughing.

"Oh, it might seem that way now, but that wasn't always the case. You should just be glad that Tonks is an only child. How do you think Gideon and Fabian took to the idea of their only sister marrying a penniless wizard with all the prospects of a flobberworm? The Weasley name may be an old one, but it's also an impoverished one. The Prewett family was also an ancient line that had fallen on hard times. Molly marrying me would only bring more shame on the family, and essentially destroy any chance they might have of reclaiming prominence. Despite all of that, I could not help myself loving her, and I continue to love her as much today as I did the very first time I met her.

"So, being the noble idiot that I was, I resolved to hide my feelings. I, like you, decided that Molly deserved better than what I could provide her. She deserved someone that could keep her in the style she was accustomed to. I decided that all of this was for Molly's own good. I told her all of this, of course. I told her that, with the war starting up, there were more important matters to focus on. As succinctly as I could, I explained to her how all of this was for the best. However, despite all of this, she still found a way to change my mind."

Remus' eyebrows furrowed.

"What did she do?"

"She broke my nose."

Arthur then pointed to the slight lump on the bridge of his nose. Remus couldn't help but wince at the thought of being on the receiving end of Molly's ire.

"Molly always was persuasive. No wonder Sirius always knew when to back down. Look, Arthur, I understand what you're trying to say, and I appreciate it, but I can't do it. I wish the only thing keeping us apart was money, but it's much more than that. Much more."

Remus stood from the kitchen table and stretched. The Order meeting would be starting soon, and he could hear members arriving at the front door.

"Well, thank you for listening, Arthur, you have always been a good friend to me."

Shaking the other man's hand, Remus walked up the stairs and to the Burrow's loo to wash up. Once gone, Arthur shook his head and sighed.

"Poor, Remus. I hope Molly doesn't find out about this. She wouldn't be able to rest if she thought she could get those two together."

**********

"I hereby call this meeting of the Order of the Phoenix to order. Before I receive your individual reports, I want to tell you all about a very important mission I have for one of you. The plan I have will involve infiltrating one of Voldemort's most dangerous groups of allies in order to gather information on his possible activities. For this mission, I require someone with prior experience with the group, and someone that I know will risk their life in service against the rising darkness."

As soon as the words had escaped Dumbledore's mouth, Mad-Eye Moody rose from his chair.

"Count me in, Albus. There isn't a witch or wizard in all of England that's more experienced in battling the Death Eaters and their kind. Just tell me the when and the where, and I'll be there."

Nearly all of the other Order members looked relieved by this. All of them had proven themselves in battle, but if Dumbledore said something was dangerous, it must be something horrible. Looking up at their leader, they saw the elderly wizard shaking his head.

"I appreciate your offer, Alastor, but this is something that only one of us can hope to succeed in. That is why I have already discussed this with Remus Lupin."

All eyes immediately shifted to Remus. The only pair he cared about belonged to Tonks. She had been ignoring him all meeting, looking away from him anytime he tried to initiate eye contact with her. He had hoped to talk to her about what he was about to do, but he hadn't known what to say. Now that he had her undivided attention, he found that his own gaze could not quite meet her own.

"Remus has agreed to go undercover and gather information for us at one of the largest werewolf colonies that is believed to be siding with Voldemort. Remus will also be attempting to convince any of them that will listen to him to defect from the group. It is feared that most will be beyond coercion, but we are hopeful that some may still be persuaded."

Remus could feel Tonks' eyes upon him. He knew that, if he should look at her now, all of his resolve would vanish. Knowing this, he kept his attention focused on Dumbledore.

Little did he know that she would not be staring at him for much longer.

"Remus is well aware of what could happen if his true purpose for being there is discovered. He is also aware that, if he were to be recognized, his life would be in grave danger. This threat is made all the more real due to the leader of the colony that he will be entering. All of you know of this man because of his barbaric acts and insatiable bloodlust. The leader of the colony Remus will be infiltrating is none other than Fenrir Greyback."

Remus heard the sharp intakes of breath before the sound of someone running from the room overwhelmed them. Turning his head towards the sound of someone sobbing, he was met with a sight that caused his heart to ache in his chest. Turning to look at the doorway, he could just make out a pair of faux leopard shoes disappearing from sight. The rest of the world ceased to exist in that very moment.

Tonks was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**No Ordinary Love**

**By:** **Time and Tide**

**A/N: **_First, I must thank Time for being so supportive and patient while I wrote this chapter. For some reason, it was really difficult to focus, although now that I think back, it probably had something to do with having a full-time college schedule. Second, to all the people who have stuck by this, thanks so much! It's really appreciated. The next chapter will be in Remus' POV, and as I am now chatting with Time and discussing what Ch.9 will consist of, I hope you're ready for some R/T lovin', because it is definitely coming. Stick around! ~Tide_

**Chapter 8: Luckless Romance**

"_Remus is well aware of what could happen if his true purpose for being there is discovered. He is also aware that, if he were to be recognized, his life would be in grave danger. This threat is made all the more real due to the leader of the colony that he will be entering. All of you know of this man because of his barbaric acts and insatiable bloodlust. The leader of the colony Remus will be infiltrating is none other than Fenrir Greyback."_

_Remus heard the sharp intakes of breath before the sound of someone running from the room overwhelmed them. Turning his head towards the sound of someone sobbing, he was met with a sight that caused his heart to ache in his chest. Turning to look at the doorway, he could just make out a pair of faux leopard shoes disappearing from sight. The rest of the world ceased to exist in that very moment._

_Tonks was gone._

_**1 hour earlier…**_

Folding her arms across her chest, Tonks gazed with unseeing eyes at the blur of the last Ministry workers swishing away through the Floo Network. The intense green was so harsh, tears stung her eyes; she swiped at them with the sleeve of her cardigan.

"Why are you waiting here?"

She turned, a little startled, but recovered quickly enough, greeting Kingsley Shacklebolt with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. They usually always met up at the Apparation point just outside the Visitor's Entrance, but today she stood and waited for him to come down from the lifts, to let him know that--

"I'm not going."

Kingsley frowned and looked around for eavesdroppers before he muttered, "What do you mean? You've never missed a meeting."

"I'm not really feeling all too well. And Remus and I, we've-"

"Trouble in paradise already?" he asked, eyebrows raised in surprise, clearly astonished.

Tonks turned from Kingsley's stare; he was the only one in the Order that knew of the two of them she was sure, and being a good friend of both herself and Remus, Tonks didn't really want Kingsley to get too involved, lest he had to pick between them at some point.

"Something like that," Tonks paused, finally meeting Kingsley's eye. "Actually," she reconsidered, "it's like a hurricane or two have blown past."

She pressed her back flush against the wall, dropped her arms to her sides, and let out a groan when Kingsley said, "Tonks, you know this is important. Besides, Dumbledore wants us all there. He's got an important announcement to make, apparently."

Tonks snorted. "Sounds like he's getting married, the way you put it… or with child."

Kingsley rolled his eyes, then nodded towards the telephone box at the end of the hall. "Ready, then?"

"Ha." She started towards the little red lift, laughing genuinely, "You're a right git, did you know, Shacklebolt?" He went to shove her, but she ducked just in time.

"At least this git's on your side."

Tonks felt an overwhelming swelling in her heart, and she gazed side-long at Kingsley. "You mean that?"

They had reached the telephone box; Kingsley slid the door open for her. "Only someone with hindered intelligence would let a girl like you go," he said.

"Aw," Tonks said stepping into the lift, "you're really sweet when you want to be, aren't you, Big Head?"

Kingsley stepped in across from her, and the box magically expanded for his broad shoulders. "Don't let that get around."

They made it safely into Muggle London and to the Apparation point, where they spun on the spot and thought of The Burrow. Tonks really wondered if she could just imagine her little flat above her parents' garage, but she knew Shacklebolt would just go after her and drag her to the Order meeting. So, with a sigh of sheer reluctance, Tonks landed expertly before the Weasley's front gate, out of habit.

"It's proper," Kingsley said in regard to Tonks halfhearted sneer.

"Always with the manners," she muttered under her breath, covering her anxiety with annoyance. And doing it rather well, she thought.

Facing The Weasley's front door, Tonks inhaled sharply through her nose; why were her hands so sweaty? She shook her head like a dog shaking water out of its ears, mostly to clear her head, wiped her perspiring hands on the back of her pants, and exhaled roughly and determinedly. She turned to look at Kingsley, who had his eyebrows raised her way.

"What?" she asked defensively, "can't I gear up for the most horrid next hour of my life?" Kingsley pressed his lips together. "Don't poke fun!"

He managed to hold in his laughter. "Right, well," he bowed slightly as he opened the door, "after you."

Tonks stood there for a moment, hands shaking with nerves, before Kingsley had the mind to push her in. She stumbled over the threshold but stayed upright by sheer luck.

"All right there, Tonks?" Hestia Jones asked from beside the sideboard, a small shot of firewhisky in her hand.

Tonks stared at her, a tad disoriented, and wondered why she disliked Hestia so…. She swiped Hestia's glass, swigged the Ogden's back, said, "I am now, thanks for asking," and handed the stunned woman the empty cup back.

Mundungus, skulking by the wireless set, choked with laughter over his own shot of alcohol.

Before Tonks could do anymore damage, Kingsley quietly apologized to Hestia and steered Tonks to Molly Weasley, who embraced her with a bone-crushing hug. Tonks sincerely wondered what she'd done to deserve this.

"Nymphadora! Kingsley! It's so good to see you!" she enthused, letting Tonks go and wrapping her arm around Kingsley's. Before Tonks could object to being called by her Christian name, Molly went on, "Tell me! Tell me! How've you been? Moody mentioned Robards is keeping you two busy, being unfamiliar to the post and all …"

Molly's words became faded suddenly into an irritating sort of buzz as the kitchen door swung shut behind her; Tonks had managed a glance in the room and saw Moody sitting between Dumbledore and Arthur. She had stopped right before the kitchen door, as she was quite certain Remus was already here, perhaps less than a yard away, and she wasn't sure she could face him just yet. She turned and inspected the sitting room, her eyes automatically landing on the coat rack: a charcoal blazer was hung innocently by the front door. Why hadn't she noticed it as soon as she'd entered? She could've made some excuse, something like-

"Tonks, dear, are you all right?" Molly poked her head around the door- Moody must have mentioned that she was still in the living room. "You're looking a bit peaky. Can I get you something? Gingerale? Lemonade? Ginny made it just this morning," Molly offered and started pulling Tonks into the kitchen.

"No, Molly, really! I'm all right! I'm all right!" Tonks insisted, throwing a desperate look over her shoulder at Mundungus, who shrugged at her.

But it was too late. Tonks stood awkwardly in front of the cramped kitchen. Diggle and Doge glanced at her curiously from the back door before continuing their conversation. McGonagall smiled from beside Arthur, who let out a jovial, "Tonks! Good to see you!" Moody and Dumbledore looked over her, and through her, it seemed, but nodded her way just the same. Snape sneered at her, sitting next to Hagrid whom waved at her so grandly that he unsettled a kettle full of tea all over Snape's black robes. While Tonks was joyful about that turn of events, she wondered, glancing around the room, where Remus was.

"Here you are," Molly said. She had disappeared for what felt like a split-second before she was next to her, pressing a glass of lemonade into her hand, simultaneously levitating a shot of firewhisky to Kingsley. "Go on, drink! Sit! Hestia, dear," Tonks moved aside to let Jones in, "Go and fetch Remus, would you? He's in the garden- said he needed some air."

"Merlin, here we go," Tonks muttered under her breath. She shuffled to Kingsley's side and whispered in his ear, tip-toeing to do so, "Please, please, please, sit next to me."

"Of course," he said, politely excusing himself to Arthur.

"Right," she said, settling in with her back to back door, "take this."

"Why?" Kingsley asked, taking her glass of lemonade.

"Because I need what you've got more," she said, taking his firewhisky and shooting it back, the burn in her throat doing wonders for her mood. "Cheers."

Mundungus entered the room and sat next to Tonks just as she refilled her glass with more hard liquor. It seemed everyone was pretty much ready for the meeting to commence, not that Tonks was really paying attention. She was mostly waiting for the back door to open, so she could perhaps knee Remus in the crotch. Oh, how she wanted to, she thought as she took a swig of Ogden's.

"I want to knee him in the crotch, Kings," Tonks murmured to her companion.

"Which means," he murmured back, gently taking the shot glass back, "that you've had quite enough."

"Really? Have I? _How_ d'you know that?" she asked, indignant.

"You just called me 'Kings'."

"Right-o."

The back door opened; Tonks didn't turn around. She knew Hestia had walked in first, as her awful Mary Jane's clunked distinctively on the hardwood floor. She listened carefully for Remus' distinctive footsteps, realizing that her hands weren't as moist as before.

_Must be the firewhisky, goodness it's potent!_ she thought. _I'll have to invest in some of this._

"Can I have a word with you outside?"

Tonks jumped a foot in the air. There was a _crash_ as the glass of lemonade in front of Kingsley shot forward and shattered, sprinkling quite a few Order members with the sweet drink. The vase in the middle of the table also toppled over, cracking in two and splashing water everywhere.

"Bloody hell, Lupin! Warn a girl, would you?" Tonks growled, glaring at him.

It felt good to be angry with him.

"Right, sorry," Remus said quietly, abandoning her side to sit across from her.

Molly cleaned the table and its occupants with a swish of her wand, while Arthur repaired the broken glass and vase. Molly was suddenly very interested with Tonks; she was looking at her curiously, and it was startling. Quietly, Tonks said a general, "Sorry," then went on to feel miserable for herself, especially when Remus chose the seat by Hestia.

_Well, it _was_ the last seat left, _a small part of her thought_._

_Shut-up, shut-up, Brain!_

"Shall we get started?" Dumbledore asked the room in general, though he mostly gazed at Tonks, an amused sort of smile playing on his lips. She looked at Kingsley for guidance. He smiled at her and patted her gently and sympathetically on the shoulder.

"You'll be all right, Tonks," he whispered. "It's just an Order meeting."

"Except I was in quite the luckless romance with a certain member, yeah?"

Kingsley gazed at her with concern. "Yeah."

_**Presently…**_

Tonks' lungs felt like they were full of lead with every heave of a sob she took. Somehow, she had managed to stumble down The Burrow's back porch steps, into the overgrown garden, and conceal herself behind a gnarled tree after the shock and grief she'd experienced inside.

"Remus, what are you _doing_?" she whispered to herself.

Tonks wasn't sure what she should feel first. Angry, because Remus was throwing himself into a mission he probably wasn't going to succeed in. Sad, because he was leaving her, physically now, and she wouldn't get to see him, hear him, for an indefinite amount of time. Annoyed, because Tonks hadn't a clue what was going on and when Remus had made the decision to risk his life. Proud, because he was doing the right thing by helping the Light attain more allies. Confused, _so confused_, because she still hadn't come to terms with their quick start and finish to their relationship.

Embarrassment in her sudden fleeing bloomed within her unexpectedly. _How am I going to face The Order now?_ There was no way Tonks would set herself up for that kind of humiliation. _I should resign now_, she thought, wiping her tears away with the back of hand, _and never see any of these people again_.

"Tonks?"

At the abrupt loss of privacy, Tonks turned quickly, tripped over a thick tree root, and fell onto her bottom.

"Merlin's saggy _balls_," Tonks groaned. A sharp pain raced up her arm when she put weight on her hands to pick herself up. She winced and cradled her wrist.

When Tonks tried to get up for a second time, Molly Weasley interrupted her actions with a firm, "Oh, no, you don't."

"Mrs. Weasley, really, I'm fine--"

"Right," she interrupted, "I'll believe it when I see it."

"I second that."

"Bloody hell, Shacklebolt," Tonks said, looking up at her coworker. "I think this is the most miserable day of my life. I'm an idiot, running out like that."

"No, you're not," Kingsley said, kneeling down beside her. "It's understandable, isn't it? Having to face an ex more than once a week shouldn't be easy for anyone-"

"Ex?" Molly cut in. "What do you mean, 'ex'?"

"Oh, Molly, I don't want it getting around. I mean, I know the Order must know now, but, please-"

"My lips are sealed," Molly said quickly, ready for a juicy story.

"Remus and I, well, we were seeing each other for a bit, but it's gone to shit now, pretty much. He thinks he's not good enough for me or something; I don't understand the half of it, but anyway, it doesn't matter. He ended it with me- there's not much I can do about it."

"Have you two talked about it?" Molly asked as Kingsley looked over Tonks' slowly swelling wrist. "Here, let me," she said, crouching down as well. She cast a quick charm over Tonks' arm, which took her a bit of concentration. "Just fractured," Molly deduced. "All I can do about it is cast it; I can brew a potion after the meeting is over, for pain and swelling, but you'll have to go to St. Mungo's if you wanted it mended just right."

"Thanks, Molly," Tonks said.

Molly repeated her earlier question.

"Yes, we've talked, but he's stubborn, and too bloody proud, I'd say," Tonks said, sighing and wiping at her moist cheeks with her good hand.

Kingsley gently helped Molly up, then Tonks. She peeked around Shacklebolt and saw, to her horror, about half of the Order members on the back porch, staring their way.

"Oh, _no_," she said, desperately looking for an out, but finding none. "What should I do?"

"Be strong," Molly said, putting a hand firmly on her back.

Dumbledore was the first to reach her on the back porch of The Burrow, Remus right at his side. "Are you all right, Tonks?" the Headmaster of Hogwarts asked.

She smiled, just a little sadly, glancing briefly at Remus before turning back to the wizard with the kind blue eyes. "I don't suppose you know how to mend a broken heart, do you, Professor?" she asked.

Dumbledore frowned. "I'm sorry, Nymphadora."

"Tonks, I-" Remus started, only to be pushed violently aside by Alastor Moody.

"Come on, Tonks," Mad-Eye said gruffly. "A quick stop at St. Mungo's first?"

Tonks shook her head. Her mum, Andromeda, could fix her up in a jiffy. She worked on the Spell Damage floor at St. Mungo's for eight years before opening her own practice, and could fix minor injuries like Tonks had with her eyes shut.

"No, I just want to go home," she said.

"I'll send the potion by Owl, dear," Molly said, giving her a gently hug.

"Thank you, Molly," Tonks said gratefully. She turned to Dumbledore. "I won't miss anything, will I, Sir?"

Dumbledore said, "No, Tonks. The meeting is over-"

"Because of me? Oh, I'm _so_ sorry!" Tonks said, feeling so awful.

"I won't hear of it," Dumbledore said firmly. "We will meet again on Thursday?" he asked at large.

There was a murmur of agreement. Tonks waved farewell with her good hand and was led towards the Apparation point by Mad-Eye and Kingsley. She only had a moment to glance over her shoulder, and while most of the Order was dispersing, Molly stood on the back porch discussing something with Hestia Jones and Arthur was leading Remus back into The Burrow with a hand on his shoulder.

Remus looked over his shoulder, too, and Tonks' stomach did a flip when their eyes met for the tiniest millisecond. She was whisked along in Side-Along Apparation before she could figure what the look in his eyes had been.

_**Later that night…**_

"So, you're not going to tell me what's wrong?" Andromeda asked for what Tonks hoped was the last time.

"No, Mum, I'm not," she responded. "Thanks, though, for fixing my wrist. I'd be in hell tomorrow if it wasn't for you."

"Stop sucking up, dear. It's very unbecoming of you," Mum said, getting up from her place on the couch beside Tonks and kissing her on the forehead. "And take those potions Mrs. Weasley sent. Honestly, the woman doesn't think I have that all in stock?"

"Mum, she was being nice," Tonks said, rolling her eyes. She got up, too, and led her mother towards the door. "Now, I promise to stop by tomorrow before work, all right? I'd really like some sleep," she said pointedly, faking a yawn.

"All right, all right, I get the hint."

"Goodnight, Mum. Thanks again."

"Anytime, Nymphadora," she said, hurrying down the stairs as dark clouds rolled in overhead and thunder rumbled in the distance.

_Rain_, her mother mouthed, pointing at the sky.

_I know_, Tonks mouthed back, rolling her eyes at her odd mother.

Tonks waited until her mum was safely inside before closing her door, bolting it shut, and casting the proper enchantments. When she was done, she fell against the door and let gravity take hold, until her bottom was on the floor. She sat there, not thinking much of anything, for quite a while. It was sometime around midnight, when it started to pour, and she could smell the rain through the crack at the bottom of her door, that she got up and shuffled tiredly to her plush couch. There, she collapsed in a tangle of limbs and fell into a deep sleep. After all, she did drink quite a bit of alcohol and plenty of pain potions…

It was the last thing she thought about. So, when she was woken by a figure _whooshing_ in her fireplace and into her little flat, she was 99% certain that she was hallucinating, especially when she realized that the person covered in soot was none other than Remus Lupin.

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**TBC**.

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